Thinking of quitting...

Posted by: Mich

Thinking of quitting... - 01/24/06 05:06 PM

Last winter for the first time I joined up at my local martial arts school. There were usually 5-10 students in each session, and in the beginning my instructor kept things formal - full uniform required, extensive warmups, drills, workouts, martial art etiquete training, etc. My instructor has taught for at least 10 years and is really challenging and motivating.

Starting last fall, however, I noticed that new people weren't sticking around, and older students began dropping out. As far as I know, they had legitimate reasons. The last two months, it's mostly been just me, and sometimes a brand new beginner who is not catching on well. Last month my instructor said it slows down for the holidays but picks up in January. So far it has not, and the new beginner just sprained his ankle playing soccer, leaving me as the last student.

In addition to it being slow, my instructor has been really stressed about his day job, and as less people have been showing up to class, he's been relaxing his methods. Sometimes he doesn't even dress for class, sometimes shows up late, frequently skips the warmups and drills, spends time on the phone with his job, etc. He's been commenting on how he needs to advertise for his classes more, and asked me to do some research for it. I gave him a bunch of info and offered to help set it up if he was busy. He just said he'd look into it a month ago, and nothing else has happened. Even his website is out of date. It sounds like he doesn't want to spend time or money on advertising or updating his website.

I want to learn - don't get me wrong. My instructor is very talented, and I really love the MA and his style of teaching it. But it's just been awkward as the only student, and I almost feel in the way since he's so stressed out.

Is this kind of thing common? How bad are the spikes in enrollment? If the class was back up to 5-10 people, I'd be more interested in staying on, but I don't see that many people appearing anytime soon, especially without good advertising. I really hate being the only student. So frustrating! Has anyone else had this issue?
Posted by: Ronin1966

Thinking of quitting... - 01/24/06 09:21 PM

Hello Mich:

Enrollment is often extremely cyclical! But it will depend on the given studio/gym what the particular cycle might be.

Instructors are people, and their life sometimes, sometimes intrudes. What you describe unfortunately sounds more like a sinking ship. Consistancy is critical to learning. Purely from the business perspective, I should know ZERO about the why & what of the teachers personal life, other operations, their job-work, particular challenges. As the student my job is simply to train, and be a part of a hopefully healthy, positive new experience. I am not and should not be burdened with doing the advertising... unless I was a paid employee, family, etc.? You're getting good private instruction in what hopefully will become a larger group given time. If not, it will be through no fault of your own. On that basis, STAY, get that private instruction... and don't worry about other things... its not your "role"!
Everyone involved in learning/teaching has a fundamental choice, stay or go, persist or quit.

Which "role" will you play?
J
Posted by: Dauragon c mikado

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 01/25/06 06:03 AM

Perhaps you can use the situation to your advantage, invite friends, people you get along with well.
This way you can choose who you wish to train with (if they decide to come).

If not this may be the perfect oppourtunity to get one one one tutoring, since there are no other students you have to set an example to you might try reqeusting what types of things you wish to learn and if he thinks your ready he may teach you.

Just a couple ideas

As for giving up, atleast consider finding another dojo in whitch you can continue training, not neccercerily of the same art unless you like you particular art.
Posted by: Mixie

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/23/06 06:17 AM

I've had a similiar situation to you. When I was a blue belt in Taekwondo, I was thinking of quiting, but my parents told me to go on. TOday, I am a black belt 1st Dan. I am happy that I didn't decide to quit at the beginning. It's a hard decision...it's your benifit at the end.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/23/06 07:52 AM

Martial arts studios, like many small businesses, fail. It really stinks when it is a good studio, and a good teacher.

Your teacher has a life, and it sounds like this is one of those rocky periods. Even if the studio closes, I am sure your teacher will continue to train on his own (if he is dedicated/loves what he is doing). If it were me, I would let him know that I'm still his student, and would be happy to train anywhere (local park, the church hall, his cellar, etc.).
Posted by: Joss

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/23/06 07:52 AM

I may have missed it, but I didn't see whether you are thinking of quitting MA, or just finding another school.

Now and again you will find yourself at a dead end in a school. The reasons vary. The way you descruibe it though, you no longer really have a school.

I wouldn't quit MA. Rather than do that, I'd start visiting other schools in the area, and see if I could find the best teacher there is. I wouldn't worry about the art as much as the teacher. Tell you current teacher thank you and that you will kepp checking back and make the change and continue.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/23/06 09:03 AM

Yes, but I got over it because I wanted to learn. Then I realized what a great opportunity it was....basically private lessons and all the attention on me. Great deal.

Quote:

I really hate being the only student. So frustrating! Has anyone else had this issue?


Posted by: yamig

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/03/06 02:39 PM

I remember the days when I was the only student who showed up. It was great getting private lessons. They ironed out a good bunch of issues in my technique, and taught me new techniques as well before everyone else got back..hehe...
Posted by: DavidT

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/04/06 05:18 AM

The occasional private lesson is wonderful, but weeks or months of nothing but can get frustrating. Especially if your instructor is distracted with other things, it can require a huge amount of internal motivation. While you should always be pushing yourself (and I'd venture to say that's the most important element in training), sometimes it's really nice to have others there cheering you on.

It sounds like you need to make a decision about whether you really have the energy to push yourself each and every lesson. However, as others have said, even if you decide you need to abandon your current instructor, I don't believe you should quit the martial arts entirely.
Posted by: founderofryoute1

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/04/06 07:38 AM

Having been in a similar position as the instructor, I reckon the only way of moving forward is if you and your instructor adopt the training partner relationship and drop the instructor-student relationship. Have a heart-to-heart with him see what’s bugging him. I my case my student is now one of my best friends and I don’t see him as a student any more. That helps me because being an instructor can get quite lonely. Besides he quickly became incredibly talented when I started training one on one with him. Eventually I had to admit that just because I had more experience than him (and always will have) did not mean that my abilities were any better. This help transform the relationship between us.

This may not apply in your case but I don’t know maybe it does.

Martin
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/04/06 10:23 AM

Very good post, Martin. Many instructors have too much ego to be willing to give up the "instructor" idea, and end up limiting their own training because of it.
Posted by: pepto_bismol

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/10/06 08:57 PM

interesting, you pretty much just described my wing chun instructor. The way I see it is that you are recieving private lessons and you should learn everything from your instructor while you can. Once you learn his system, move on.

Unless you feel the need to train with a lot of differant students I think you should stick with this guy.

Since this thread was started 2 months ago I am interested in what happened. Did he get more students? Does he still teach? Do you still go to the school etc.

btw most people have to pay more for private instructions!

EDIT: Weird just read all the replies, seems a lot of people have been in this situation. I wonder if this is a "phase" most instructors have to go through.
Posted by: Ukraine

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/10/06 11:17 PM

In the end it all comes down to you my friend.It's your choice:to quit or not to quit.

Personally, I wouldnt quit, but it's your decision.
Posted by: Mich

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 03/14/06 02:19 PM

I thought long and hard about this, and after taking a few other factors into consideration, I decided to take a break. If the class grows again, I'm definitely interested in going back. I just got an email from my instructor, and he only mentioned just the one other young student that shows up about half the time. In the mean time I'm just trying to keep my fitness up and get caught up on projects that I've been putting off. I'll keep driving by periodically, to see if more students are going to class!
Posted by: IExcalibui2

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 05/23/06 01:52 AM

have you ever thought that you being the only student will let you learn more?? Though yes its hard to go to class by yourself I think you staying there gives him more hope. I mean if his "prized" student drops out then its kinda demoralizing. Also you would recieve alot of 1 on 1 time with him which is a great way to learn and improve your art. Though I wouldnt say be happy you are the only one there...I'm just saying look at the glass half full rather than half empty.
Posted by: mskajukenbo

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 08/11/06 08:40 PM

I couldn't agree more!!! Nice post/reply. I have been married into the MA world and find the EGOS and Bravado larger than life most of the time! It would be better for everyone if teachers, sensei, sifu, ect would consider dropping the power and guru show and just be human once in a while! I think having an teacher who exhibits empathy, humility, honesty and fairness is a true work in the martial art! But for me, it is rare to see one of these mostly Male gurus ever admit to making a mistake or say I'm sorry or admit or acknowledge to a lowly newbie that his enthusiasm and innovative ideas are valid.

grrr...
crisis of faith here
Posted by: KarateGuy408

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 09/13/06 12:46 PM

The local community colleges usually have M.A/fitness classes for low cost.

It's a great place to meet people and send them to your teacher or you might want to continue with the college classes.
Posted by: Journey

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 01:54 PM

Mitch - you need to quit this guy but not your training. Find another dojo. Sounds like you are in a sinking ship with a teacup left to bail out the water. Don't put your training on hold for your teachers sake. Train - train hard and don't quit on yourself.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 02:02 PM

That is...garbage. If one finds a good teacher that is ahead of you ('sensei'), and challenging, and if they are teaching something of quality (that hasn't been addressed yet in this thread...I think)...then it is a personal decision to either stay a student or leave. What does a dojo matter?

Quote:

Mitch - you need to quit this guy but not your training. Find another dojo. Sounds like you are in a sinking ship with a teacup left to bail out the water. Don't put your training on hold for your teachers sake. Train - train hard and don't quit on yourself.


Posted by: Journey

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 04:11 PM

Excuse me Harlan - but if I read his post correctly his teacher is no longer teaching on the level that he was to begin with. Time to move on.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 04:17 PM

What I read was a teacher, and a student, who are more interested in a business/school than in training. The teacher needs to get his priorities straight, and provide a good example for this student. Businesses go belly up all the time...no reason for a solid teacher not to keep students.

Of course...I'm biased. I was under the impression that good teachers were hard to find.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 04:28 PM

Harlan -

I'm confused. Journey seems to be saying "the instructor is shirking his duties - find another school, but don't quit training." What is garbage about that?

You seem to be saying something similar, ie; chiding the instructor for not keeping his students in the face of business problems.

Are you calling garbage on Journey or the instructor?

BTW, Mich is a female if I remember correctly.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 04:32 PM

'a sinking ship'

'don't put your training on hold for someone else'

If others don't understand, then I lack the proper words to explain. Sorry.
Posted by: tkd_high_green

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 04:52 PM

It sounds to me like this person really likes their instructor and the instructions they've received. I know that if my instructor were having serious life issues that were affecting his ability to teach, I would definitely be willing to wait for things to settle down, or offer to help. Instructors are people too, and they can go through life crisises just like anyone else.

While it can be lonely not having anyone else in class, it can be very educational getting private lessons. The best bet though is for this student to sit down with his or her instructor and discuss the situation and then decide if its time to move on.

Laura
Posted by: Journey

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 08:29 PM

Quote:

'a sinking ship'

'don't put your training on hold for someone else'

If others don't understand, then I lack the proper words to explain. Sorry.




Well I'm lost. Anyway now that I look back I see that I was posting to a YEAR old post anyway. Guess Mich has done whatever she made up her mind to do by now. Think I'll just tune out now and watch Lost on TV. Maybe I'll understand that better than I have harlen
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 09:42 PM

Quote:

'a sinking ship'

'don't put your training on hold for someone else'

If others don't understand, then I lack the proper words to explain. Sorry.




I'm with you, Journey. That didn't answer my question at all.
Posted by: Zombie Zero

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 10:04 PM

Quote:

Quote:

'a sinking ship'

'don't put your training on hold for someone else'

If others don't understand, then I lack the proper words to explain. Sorry.




Well I'm lost.




You have to remember that Harlan is our poet philosopher. Interpretation is up to the reader. Very Zen.

I offer:

'a sinking ship': She could mean the school in question is like a sinking ship that must be abandoned, or she could mean that Mich is like the rat that is first to flee a ship at the first sign of distress.

'don't put your training on hold for someone else' : Don't sacrifice your progress as a martial artist to spare the feelings of the leader of a flagging school. Go and find a school that will give you what you need. That's all I got out of that one.

Or maybe I'm just full of
Posted by: harlan

Re: Thinking of quitting... - 02/07/07 10:49 PM

Your interpretation is correct...but they aren't my words. Just pointing them out from the advice as something to think about.