My training paid off

Posted by: screamingflea

My training paid off - 12/22/08 01:16 PM

Hi,

This is my first post here. I'm a total novice to MA, having taken just a month of Systema. But I had an obnoxious situation the other night, and the more I think about it, the more pleased I am with how it turned out.

A couple weeks ago we did an exercise in class where the main point was that in a given situation you'll find an "empty space" you can turn to your advantage, either for escape or an opportunity to maneuver. At the time I thought it was a nice metaphor for life, and it is. But it worked very well for me the other night.

My neighbor came over, and I only realized after I'd let him in that he was completely sh1tfaced. Oops. He was a sappy sentimental drunk, and he started in with the "Oh, I'm so lonely, I really like you, did you do something with your hair? It looks nice. Won't you spend Christmas with me? Boo hoo hoo, I'm so lonely, and you're so pretty. Let's watch this movie I brought over. Boo hoo."



As this is going on, he's right in my face (and smelling like a barnyard.) I keep taking steps back, and he keeps stepping forward. I realize that as tiny as my apartment is, two more steps back would have me sitting down on the couch, which was not an option under the circumstances. I could have told him to back up, but he was too out of touch to have heard the message. So ... what did my teacher say that day? There was just enough space between him and the bookshelf for me to step *forward* past him and back toward the door. He followed me like the Pied Piper, and that was that.

(I still haven't seen him to tell him not to come back. He's probably still hung over 3 days later.)

I've been enjoying this class just for fun; it's been a pleasant surprise to put it to good use so quickly. I don't think I was in any physical danger here, and I could have gotten rid of him either way. But this made it so much more quick and efficient, with the added benefit of a little compassion by my not having to scream "Get OUT!!!" to someone who was clearly suffering.

I should have taken this class 30 years ago!
Posted by: MattJ

Re: My training paid off - 12/22/08 02:00 PM

Nice job! That is the highest use of martial arts.
Posted by: Ames

Re: My training paid off - 12/22/08 04:20 PM

Yep, that was a great use of your training, imo. Systema is great for that kind of thing.

--Chris
Posted by: Ilove2Hit

Re: My training paid off - 12/23/08 11:38 AM

buy a bigger apartement and stuff like that wont happen ^^

u should b able to take steps backwards FOREVER!!!
Posted by: screamingflea

Re: My training paid off - 12/24/08 09:52 PM

Thanks guys. At class last night I brought it up and the teacher was pretty pleased. He said that Systema also has what he calls some "psychic moves" to defuse tension too, so I guess I'll have to bring my tarot cards next time.

I'm so new to this that I often get self-conscious about my clunky moves. It's encouraging to know I'm on the right track.
Posted by: McSensei

Re: My training paid off - 12/25/08 04:33 PM

"psychic moves"

Oh dear!
I do hope your instructor meant to say "psychological," rather than "psychic."
Posted by: screamingflea

Re: My training paid off - 12/26/08 12:13 AM

I finally ran across him this morning. He looked so painfully chagrined that I didn't say anything to him about not coming back. At one point he fumbled something about "sorry it didn't work out."

A few days earlier he had given me a stack of DVDs and insisted that I keep them. This morning he said he'd come by for them, so I bagged them and left them by my door. The organic doorbell (known to mere mortals as "my dog") announced his arrival. He didn't knock. I watched out the window as he grabbed the bag and left.

Poor guy. I hate to be a hardass, but after a similar experience gone wrong a couple years ago I'm really wary. And when any kind of addiction is in the picture ... forget it. I wish him healing, but from a safe distance. He seemed so embarrassed that I doubt I'll see much of him anymore.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: My training paid off - 12/26/08 09:37 AM

Psychic moves......uh oh.

Quote:

The organic doorbell



LOL. I have one of those, too.
Posted by: Ames

Re: My training paid off - 12/26/08 12:11 PM

Quote:

I do hope your instructor meant to say "psychological," rather than "psychic."



I can't speak for her teacher in particular, but I know that when Vladimir uses the term "psychic", or is talking about "psychic work", he does mean "psychological". These days, he usually just says "psychological", because his English is improving.

So, no, it isn't about 'reading thoughts', more reading body language for cues, and reading intent, etc (which is a kind of mind reading, I suppose, but not in the usual 'psychic/ claravoyant sense).

--Chris
Posted by: Dauragon c mikado

Re: My training paid off - 12/27/08 04:39 PM

Quote:

The organic doorbell



Well if your guest eats enough beans...
Posted by: screamingflea

Re: My training paid off - 12/27/08 05:07 PM

Personally I think the psychic and psychological are closely intertwined and equally valid. Have you ever been in the company of a stranger who was highly emotional, even if they didn't show it outwardly? You can feel it on some level.

Riding mass transit is a great example. You're thrown in at random with a bunch of people and it's a great way to gauge your intuition. Many's the time I've taken a seat and found that something was uncomfortable, almost like Kenobi's "disturbance in the force." A quick look around will find someone who's clearly under the influence of God Knows What. This obviously affects my own psychological state as I no longer feel entirely safe, and I start monitoring the situation - is he dangerous? What if he zeroes in on me, or someone else? What's he on anyway, and how would that impact his own mental state? And of course if my monitoring penetrates his daydream, how will he feel about being sized up? It's a mutual feedback loop on both psychological and intuitive levels.

Gavin de Becker wrote about this in his book "The Gift of Fear." He emphasizes the importance of intuition as an early warning sign. In many cases victims of violent crime mention after the fact that something seemed *wrong* about the perpetrator. Sadly, we're taught to devalue intuition, and the results can sometimes be tragic.
Posted by: stac3y

Re: My training paid off - 01/30/09 03:28 PM

Quote:


Gavin de Becker wrote about this in his book "The Gift of Fear." He emphasizes the importance of intuition as an early warning sign. In many cases victims of violent crime mention after the fact that something seemed *wrong* about the perpetrator. Sadly, we're taught to devalue intuition, and the results can sometimes be tragic.



I find this very interesting (which is why I'm responding to this well-aged post.) One of the things I've tried to teach my kids, in order to help them stay safe, is that if someone--anyone--gives them the "creeps," to get the H-E-double hockey sticks away from that person.

I think that most people are capable of tuning in to others and can tell when someone is off kilter, but so many parents teach their kids non-intuitive ways of differentiating between safe and unsafe people and situations that it blunts their instincts for self-preservation. An example: "Give Uncle Herbert a hug, Tommy! He's your uncle--it would be rude not to!" which many parents will tell a child even if Tommy has expressed that this relative makes his skin crawl.

I think people who sense that someone who appears innocuous is a potential danger do so by observing nonverbal cues that are beneath the level of conscious thought--not that there's anything magical about it. Cues might include posture, mannerisms, gestures, muscle tension, even odor. Hmmm...better stop here, my BA in interpersonal communication theory is kicking in! Don't want to bore you guys TOO much.

PS--'Flea, congratulations on a lovely handling of a yucky situation!