Your MA as a verb

Posted by: BuDoc

Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 08:49 PM

Here's a little story about a recent ER patient.

I walk into the ER the other night and my first patient has a nice head and face laceration. The nurse has the history, I'm ready to suture.

Me: So what happened Mr X?
X: Doc, we was sitting out on the porch ya know smokin and drinkin. My boy starts saying some $h!t to this cat that rolls up on bike. One thing leads to another and this cat jumps off the bike like Jet Li and Kung Fu'd my a$$.

Me: Kung Fu'd your a$$ ?(trying not to laugh)
X: yeah Kung Fu'd my a$$ and I ain't even said nothing to him. I'm gonna smoke that MF'r!!

Me: How about you learn some Kung Fu and Kung Fu his a$$?
X: Where I'm gonna learn that?

I proceded to write him a prescription and put the Green Dragon society website on it

All night long we were walking around trying to make MA's into verbs. Some worked better than others.

I karate'd his a$$
I Muy Thaid his a$$(one of my favorites)
I jiu-jitsu'd his a$$
I capoeira'd his a$$ (doesn't really work)

Feel free to add your own.

Or Ignore this thread completely. I was overtired then and thought it was funny. I'm overtired now telling you about it.

I will probably read this tomorrow and realize that I have lost IQ points, and have actually made you dumber for bearing with me

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Posted by: eyrie

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 09:14 PM

Hmmmm.... his *a$$* got Kung Fu'd and sustained a nice *head and face* laceration? Hmmmm.... ROTFLMOL!
Posted by: JoelM

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 09:17 PM

Quote:

Hmmmm.... his *a$$* got Kung Fu'd and sustained a nice *head and face* laceration? Hmmmm.... ROTFLMOL!




Would that make him a butthead?
Posted by: Bushi_no_ki

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 09:24 PM

I got all American and Kenpoed your a$$, as well as karated it.

Yes Joel, I think the implication is that he is a butthead.

huhuhuh, you said butt...
Posted by: butterfly

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 09:37 PM

Muy Thaid....hmm?! I have had a bender or two in my youth that suggested too much consumption of alcohol may indeed deliver said effect without the need for an attacker.

-B
Posted by: eyrie

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 09:37 PM

Me: Uh, yeah, Officer Joel, we was sitting out on the porch ya know, smokin ($h!t) and drinkin. My boy starts saying some $h!t to this cat that rolls up on a bike. One thing leads to another and this cat jumps off the bike like Jet Li and attempted to Kung Fu my a$$.

JoelM: So what did you do?

Me: So I ah-key-doh'd his a$$.

JoelM: You "aikido'd" his a$$???? (Trying hard not to laugh)

Me: Uh yeah...

JoelM: So how come he's sustained a head and face laceration?

Me: Likes ah sez, I aikido'd his a$$ and BADABINGBADABOOM, he ends up on his a$$ all over the pavement....

Posted by: KiDoHae

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 10:25 PM

He "Billy Jacked my a$$" = hapkido

(I'm dating myself of course.)
Posted by: JoelM

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 10:49 PM

Billy who? I've dated myself before...lonely times. But those are stories for another forum.

I like this one:I just escrima'd his a$$!!
Posted by: eyrie

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 10:59 PM

LOL! In some backwater locales, I think it would be ice-creama'd his a$$!
Posted by: JoelM

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/19/05 11:04 PM

"Hey there, Bobby. Whacha doin'?"

"Practicin this here martial art, Charlie."

"Oh yeah, what's it called?"

"Ice-screama cookie-do"

"Wow, that there's a fancy name!"

"I know, I learned directly from the Grandmasters, Guro Ben and Guro Jerry."
Posted by: butterfly

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/20/05 01:04 AM

Eyrie,

That's some scary terminology and would only work, pardon the non-PC allusion, if only one of these guys was a Ned Beatty look alike.

"Squeal like a pig." Just horrible connotations....Horrible....

-B
Posted by: eyrie

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/20/05 01:29 AM

Holy crap! Oops..... sorry...completely innocent and unintentional....honest... I swear...

I'm afraid you are dating yourself...

*right folks, move along, it's not a pretty sight...move along*
Posted by: Outshined

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/20/05 03:35 AM

IŽd KaliŽd (Called) his a$$ (Kali=Escrima)...
IŽd Tai Chi Chuaned his A$$ ??
IŽd Samboed his a$$
IŽd Krav Magaed (or Kapap Lotared) his a$$ ?
I Kendoed his A$$..
IŽd Pencak Silated his a$$ ???
Posted by: JoelM

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/20/05 09:11 AM

Quote:

"Hey there, Bobby. Whacha doin'?"

"Practicin this here martial art, Charlie."

"Oh yeah, what's it called?"

"Ice-screama cookie-do"

"Wow, that there's a fancy name!"

"I know, I learned directly from the Grandmasters, Guro Ben and Guro Jerry."




Methinks I should have gone to bed a bit earlier last night...
Posted by: kusojiji

Wrestle - 06/20/05 09:11 AM

This doesn't work as a joke for me 'cause what I do is a verb.
Posted by: butterfly

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/21/05 01:38 AM

Eyrie,

I suppose I am dating myself...but didn't have the heart to put a smilely face at the end of my statement. Didn't know how it would be taken, but was meant in good humor.

I am now going to drink a beer and stay away from any backwoods banjo players.

-B
Posted by: eyrie

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/21/05 06:56 AM

A bit cold for a beer this time of the year down here, my friend...

Likewise, likewise, but with a scotch instead....
Posted by: butterfly

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/21/05 06:36 PM

Eyrie,

Ok...for your benefit, I do have a nice bottle of Macallan at home. I will, just for you, have a small glass tonight, even though it may be winter down under and is nice and warm here.

To your health, sir!

-B
Posted by: SANCHIN31

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/21/05 08:05 PM

Joel, You don't know who Billy Jack is?


Goju-ed!!
Posted by: Kintama

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 07:52 AM

"Back-the-F-off, before I get feudal on yo a$$."

"This cat rolled up and Seisan'd my a$$, so I low-down and throw some Naihanchi his way...catch 'DAT M.F.!"

"Dat cat was going all Bushido up on m' a$$ n-sheet."

"Served him his a$$ with supersized McDojo !"
Posted by: oldman

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 09:24 AM

Quote:

Eyrie,

That's some scary terminology and would only work, pardon the non-PC allusion, if only one of these guys was a Ned Beatty look alike.

"Squeal like a pig." Just horrible connotations....Horrible....

-B




I'm more of a Warren Beatty look alike but the connotation are just as horrible.

I went all "Ishtar" on his career MAN!!!!!.
Posted by: Leo_E_49

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 09:41 AM

I don't know... is it just me or does "Taekwondo'ed his a$$" sound a little ponderous to you?
Posted by: Dereck

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 12:00 PM

Taekwondo'd his a$$ ... I like it Leo.

Speaking of ER ... when younger (20's) and after a fight where I had to get stitches over my eye (yes I was stupid), an unconscious man was brought in on a stretcher and his face was mush. It seems as he was coming through a window the older lady hit him in the face with a frying pan. The cops and I laughed our heads off when he finally awoke and was screaming like a little girl. I guess you can say she "frying panned his a$$" ... or should I say "face".
Posted by: BuDoc

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 01:53 PM

Now I know who the one other person in the world, that saw Ishtar, is!

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Posted by: oldman

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 02:01 PM

Some references are just so satisfyingly obtuse they just beg to be used.
Posted by: butterfly

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 03:36 PM

Make it three people who regretted seeing that sad example of a movie!

Bad!!!!!
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 04:06 PM

Less ponderous is "I TKD'd his a$$"
Maybe, "I drunken mastered his a$$"
or, to add a little French to it, "I savated his a$$"

if there was an SAS version of Krav et al then maybe "I SAS'd his a$$"
Posted by: BuDoc

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 04:40 PM

I believe that an actual member of the SAS would say " I Regimented his a$$"

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Posted by: BuDoc

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 04:42 PM

Now that I think of it I think I saw Bfly and Oldman in that empty theater when I went and saw Gigli!

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Posted by: Dereck

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/22/05 05:30 PM

Seen both of these flics. Ishtar (Released 1987) on TV and Gigli (Released 2003) on video. Got through both alive. Will never get this time back. I'd like to Taekwondo their a$$'s.
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 06/23/05 09:23 AM

Ah yes, BUDoc... I stand corrected
Posted by: GaryHanson

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/20/05 07:16 AM


My 12 year old son, uses this phrase quite often:

"I'll karate your a$$ so hard that even your head will be feeling it"

Gary.
Posted by: skinner

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/21/05 02:11 PM

sounds like a lovely chap.
Posted by: kwon

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/22/05 01:14 AM

earlier a someone mentioned escrima sticks lol
that reminds me..."im gonna bo-staff your a$$!" or just... "im gonna staff your a$$". this is great hahaha!
Posted by: muaythaiguy

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/22/05 12:45 PM

I nunchaku'ed his a$$!
I'm also glad to see a little more Muay Thai on these forums, since I've only seen a few references.
Posted by: pisces590

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/26/05 10:26 PM

Quote:


My 12 year old son, uses this phrase quite often:

"I'll karate your a$$ so hard that even your head will be feeling it"

Gary.




no offense to your son, but it sounds like your son was kicked in the head too many times in karate, because he must not be in his right mind.
Posted by: pisces590

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/27/05 02:30 PM

i'm sorry about my last post. it was bad of me to say that about your son. please forgive me.
Posted by: Boomer

Re: Your MA as a verb - 07/31/05 05:48 AM

Quote:

I karate'd his a$$
I Muy Thaid his a$$(one of my favorites)
I jiu-jitsu'd his a$$
I capoeira'd his a$$ (doesn't really work)





That's funny stuff. We had slightly different verbs, though. A friend of mine got retarded drunk at my house one night and fell down my steps, giving himself a black eye. His brother came by to pick him up later and asked,"Damn, Boomer! Didja hafta karatecize his a$$?"

Don't know if that works with other things...escrimacize, maybe...hmmm...how 'bout "pencak silatify"?
Posted by: GaryHanson

Re: Your MA as a verb - 08/01/05 06:57 AM

Quote:

i'm sorry about my last post. it was bad of me to say that about your son. please forgive me.




No offence taken
He is a good lad really, but kids always do say funny things.

Gary
Posted by: fattts14

Re: Your MA as a verb - 08/02/05 11:12 AM

works with MA'ists aswell
I Jackie Chan'd up the wall
I Bruce lee'd the F@#$ out of that guy
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/11/05 02:33 PM

There was once a line in Buffy, like "If you invade her space she gets all Special Forces on you" could similar things be done MA wise?
Posted by: Kintama

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/12/05 12:03 PM

How about "l33t" verbs in MA?

"pwned" as in "Al Capwned"
"Kin-Fu'ed"
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/12/05 02:11 PM

Why is it always one's a$$ which get verbed? Wouldn't some alliteration be nice, like to muay thai your mouth or kendo your crotch?
Posted by: UofM Shorin Ryu

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/12/05 02:25 PM

imma bust sum serius wangh chun on yo wrist, rigth befor i karatesize yo hypocampus!!!

And isshinryu-sticate yo big corpus callosum!!

pwned....
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/13/05 08:14 AM

Shorin, Just seen your postscript, of course breakdancing and martial arts have similarities. Breakdancing was hugely influenced by capoerra.
Posted by: UofM Shorin Ryu

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/13/05 02:12 PM

Quote:

Shorin, Just seen your postscript, of course breakdancing and martial arts have similarities. Breakdancing was hugely influenced by capoerra.




Yes, I know. Capoerra was a precursor for modern bboyin. I wouldn't put it in line with old-style breakin though, cause that was all floor-work.
Aerials, power moves, and capoerra moves can all be seen in today's young bboys.

But every day it seems I find a new similarity between MA's and Breakin, hence the postscript.

It's like comparing the US to the Roman Late Republic and early Empire, you don't start to see similarities until someone suggests they are there.
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/13/05 03:26 PM

Some styles of capoerra have a lot of ground work. Also, a lot of the early dancers based moves on martial arts. The idea of trying toutdance your opponent face to face without touching him is straight from cap. Interestingly, my tai chi sifu looks like he's poppin' when he does a form.
Posted by: UofM Shorin Ryu

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/13/05 04:17 PM

Again, I agree completely. But, at least in Michigan, I've seen an influx of former gymnasts and capoerra practicioners entering into breakdancing, making a direct connection between the two. It also seems to be the trend in other areas as well, based on numerous videos I've seen.

And the face to face "fighting" is called uprock for us. So to add to the origional point of the thread:

Imma gunna uprock right into yo kness, suckah! Then Ill karatesize you into a million peeces...
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/14/05 03:20 AM

But when they 'break' are there pieces of wooden boards everywhere? If you kick someone's knees can you capoerrise the area of yo caps
Posted by: UofM Shorin Ryu

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/14/05 04:35 PM

....you lost me....

1. Who's doing the "breaking"
2. Are we talking about breaking in terms of Martial Artists breakin boards and such, or Capoerra practicioners, or Bboys?
3. I'm assuming the second question was a joke like my karatesize joke, but you can never be too sure. So if you were really asking me a question, can you please rephrase that one for me?
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 09/20/05 04:51 AM

Ah, now there's the question... as BD and MA are so similar, who are the breakers and what are they breaking (a bit zen?).

No, I meant that if martial artists are entering breakdance competitions, how do they 'break' (like boards in a grading)?

2nd Q was a joke, yes.
Posted by: AshiharaStudent

Re: Your MA as a verb - 10/07/05 08:08 AM

Would it not be better as.... "I opened a keg of Kung-fu on his b!tch a$$"
Posted by: UmYang

Re: Your MA as a verb - 10/13/05 10:55 PM

i tai kwon do'ed his ass up and down the block lol i know the topic shitfed but i wanted to say that
Posted by: VS_Karateka

Re: Your MA as a verb - 10/19/05 10:06 AM

I whooped his a$$ with my waving pines!!!!
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 12/01/05 05:22 PM

Does beating someone up in the style of an Israeli commando ever satisfy your Kraving?
Posted by: thepanda

Re: Your MA as a verb - 12/03/05 05:15 PM

kendo'd my ass, lol, sounds like ken dod
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 12/03/05 05:19 PM

Not exactly a tickling stick tho !
Posted by: Bushi_no_ki

Re: Your MA as a verb - 12/09/05 07:07 AM

Quote:

Does beating someone up in the style of an Israeli commando ever satisfy your Kraving?




trevek, that is just brilliant
Posted by: trevek

Re: Your MA as a verb - 12/23/05 12:12 PM

Thank you, Bushi. I aim to please
Posted by: charley

Re: Your MA as a verb - 01/02/06 03:07 PM

My MA is already a verb. Fencing.

But it makes no sense in modern terms "Back off or I'll fence your a$$"

But 'sword' works great. "He was starting some sh1t so he got hisself sworded."

(Where would I be without HomestarRunner, and especially Trogdor?)

Or, of course, 'Bah. Foiled again!'

And you can have all sorts of fun with the b4st4rd sword and the rapier...
Posted by: Taison

Re: Your MA as a verb - 01/06/06 09:58 AM

Quote:

"Back off or I'll fence your a$$"



Quote:

'Bah. Foiled again!'



That's a good one!

Oh, what's a verb?

My contribution to this one. . .
"Step aside junior, before I go all Judo on your a$$"
"Dude, Ever been fed Muay Thai cuz of your mouth?"
"What's that on the floor? *Wham* Say hello to Mr. Muay Thai!'
"Bah, Muay Thai'ed again, ouch, my a$$ bleeding"
"Stand down, or be Judofied!" [No! not pedofied]

Can't think of any more, and these ones aren't that good. . . I think I have a weird sense of humour. It happens after a lot of hits to the the head.

-Taison out