very confused

alright ive heard this alot "its good that you can keep your composure and not fight even after being hit" but is it really? What about when you get scared even though you know fully well you are a capable fighter and just dont do anything. Don't tell me you dont get annoyed with yourself after it for not fighting back. This is a case of Adrenaline Dump am i correct? thanks oh and Sanchin you seem a very wise martial artists and intelligent person with good advise and opinions. But you take it too hard on the adolescents i think, think back to when you were in schoolyard fights etc...it may seem like no big deal to you now but at the time i am certain it was.

cheers

James,
Thankyou for your compliments. Perhaps my lack of tact with juveniles shows I'm not that wise after all.
However,I take a hard line against violence in our school systems,it has no place there.
If you turn the other cheek so to say, no doubt later you will have doubts about your masculinity,but you did the right thing.

"think back to when you were in schoolyard fights etc...it may seem like no big deal to you now but at the time i am certain it was. "

Yes it was,I had a pretty hard time in highschool shortly after I started training in Goju(I had already had 3yrs TKD).I'm glad I had someone to steer me in the right direction. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]

I agree 100% with you that there is no place for fighting in schools, and also to go with the doubt of masculinity does it not just simply get to you that you couldn't fight back? Also that they deserve the biggest hiding for what they have done (if you had not provoked the attack) and too see them after it thinking that they have gotten away with it, but you still feel as though you cannot do anything?

I want to ask your opinion on something, had you been attacked by and older person who had NO REASON what so ever to hit you and you did nothing...would you think he deserves it back? and how would you go about it? i hope it doesn't seem im trying to argue I just want an opinion and have seen your opinions to be somewhat similiar to my own and to tell alot of truth.

Also what martial arts do you take and what degree in them are you? *just curious*

thanks again

also to go with the doubt of masculinity does it not just simply get to you that you couldn't fight back?

It's not that you can't,it's that you shouldn't.

Also that they deserve the biggest hiding for what they have done (if you had not provoked the attack) and too see them after it thinking that they have gotten away with it, but you still feel as though you cannot do anything?

I've found that eventually people do get what they ask for.Most of the real troublemakers I went to school with ended up in prison.

I want to ask your opinion on something, had you been attacked by and older person who had NO REASON what so ever to hit you and you did nothing...would you think he deserves it back? and how would you go about it?

He definately deserves something. Prosecution. Can you be more specific? Is he older and you're a minor?

Also what martial arts do you take and what degree in them are you? *just curious*

I do Goju and we also integrate groundfighting. I am currently Nidan(2nd degree)Been at it for 14yrs.

You?

Yes i believe maybe you shouldn't but in my case i wanted to extremely badly but was held back by something within myself, which i still don't understand, all of my past experiences have gotten to me because, before this i seen myself as the *hero* i know this sounds stupid but would take alot of talking to explain and is off the subject.

"I've found that eventually people do get what they ask for.Most of the real troublemakers I went to school with ended up in prison."

Yes true but do you not want to have some forfillment in giving something back, kind of like a "thats what you get for doing this to me, you should have thought about it first" and doesn't knowing full well the kind of person they are and that they have done this before and will continue to until they are shown they are not above a beating.

Personally i wouldn't do the average approach, yelling and screaming "F@ck you you motherf###er, thats what you get for F$#$ing with a black belt RAH RAH RAH etc etc etc" but would love to give them what they are owed without making a scene. To me its not about my ego or how i look to my friends, its just want I WANT to give him.

"He definately deserves something. Prosecution. Can you be more specific? Is he older and you're a minor?"

Yes I am 15 years old and this most recent incident the guy was 20. quite simply my 15 year old friend had been hit by him before and wanted to ask him what it was for because he didn't even know the guy. i said to him fine go ask him but im not ur body guard alright...my friend is much smaller than me and went over there, after a couple minutes i decided to go get him and leave because our pizza was done so as i went to get him the guy said who the f#ck are you?

I replied i am his friend and we're goin now, he said do you want me to hit him again i said no we're going, "do you want me to hit you then" "no i dont want to fight you i dont know you"

*bang* in the jaw, and i was just stunned, frozen but unaware of the pain. I just looked into his eyes because i was amazed that somebody could do that to a kid who had done nothing, i expected to see some kind of sorrow but all i saw was anger, and then *bang* again in the eye, as i stood there still staring at him unable to fight he backed away and a car full of his friends were behind him, he started yelling dont "f#ck with me ive got me brother's here now" i was just shocked and my friends pulled me away, even though i think i would not have done anything even had his mates not been there. i beat myself up over this alot and other similiar situations.

"I do Goju and we also integrate groundfighting. I am currently Nidan(2nd degree)Been at it for 14yrs."

Sounds like your very committed, and groundfighting i see is a must in all martial arts, unless your spectacular at what you do. what exactly is Goju? sounds like a kung fu type style?

I train in Kito Ryu Mixed BJJ and have been since i was around 7. although ive done bits and pieces of boxing etc. I think mainly alot of my trouble is my friends like to tell people what rank i am (black belt)

thanks alot for your time Zanchin, maybe we could meet up some day and have a bit of a session [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

catchya

I hope I'm not intruding here, but I found this conversation really interesting.

I've had similar experiences when I was younger, I just took abuse without fighting back. I was raised to believe that hurting people was wrong, and if fighting didn't solve a problem then I'd try my best to avoid it. I was often picked on by the very people I thought were there to protect me - not an easy thing to understand when you're young.

I think a common theme running through many of these topics is the feeling of injustice. We try to do the right thing and sometimes it seems like we get the punishment for it. We live in a society where it seems like bullies have an advantage, when in truth their behaviour is only going to bring them down later in life.

I remember a wise friend telling me that adversity breeds character, and I agree in retrospect. Years later I'm much bigger, and practicing MA has increased my confidence alot. It seems *mostly* when you're growing up that you encounter the majority of bullies. If you can keep a true heart then you'll end up a better person for it.

Good luck friend [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]

Nice one , past tht wall!! [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]

thanks Past, and no intrusion what so ever, its not that i dont agree with what you all are saying because truthfully i am not a violent person (as are many of us Martial Artists) but there is a limit to what somebody can take and i dont want to push that limit and explode onto somebody who is not deserving, but i would rather to get it over and done with and show them, maybe even help other people out because they wont be so violent and harsh in the future.

Although i know doing this will create the "snowball effect" i feel that it already is a "snowball" except i miss my turn everytime it comes around.

Thanks alot to both of you for your time and you have put alot if this back into retrespect for me, although knowing these things already often it helps to hear somebody say it [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

First another quick question if this happens again and i have the feeling im about to be hit again, is it alright to hit first? i dont really like copping punches in the face [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

cheers guys...ill let you know if anything happens, and what happens.

Also you hit the nail on the head with the feeling of injustice and being punished for doing the right thing..wow all of your your Martial Arts guys are pretty switched on. thanks again for all the help

If I feel threatened with no other options I will hit first.I'm not going to wait for them to hit me.

thanks Sanchin...and will do

Keep in mind. If you hit first you better be able to prove that you feared for your safety and had no other options.

yes im not going to just walk up and hit any of them. but i am sure they will do it again and this time im not gonna take it, do u think it is safe to say if they approach me again i can, because they have no intention of having a cup of tea with me. Or should i wait and try block the first strike then counter?

Also with the police im sure they will not charge me because they have hit me many times without me charging them, im sure if i had given the circumstances they would be in alot of trouble given the age factor. Thanks alot again Zanchin.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JamesLightningBolton:
yes im not going to just walk up and hit any of them. but i am sure they will do it again and this time im not gonna take it, do u think it is safe to say if they approach me again i can, because they have no intention of having a cup of tea with me. Or should i wait and try block the first strike then counter?

Also with the police im sure they will not charge me because they have hit me many times without me charging them, im sure if i had given the circumstances they would be in alot of trouble given the age factor. Thanks alot again Zanchin.[/QUOTE]

Is there no way you can stay away from them?
Pre-emptive striking should not be done unless you fear for your safety and have no other options. You say "they" so I'm assuming there's more than one of them doing the bullying.Don't bite off more than you can chew.
Since you are 15 and they are 20,you should be calling the police and charging them. If you're afraid of revenge tell the police when it happens that you're afraid they'll do something.They won't go easy on them the second time.

yes there are more than one of them, but the only time something happens is when they have atleast 5 people with them. Its a very small town and i never know when i will run into these guys again so it is hard to avoid them. Also all of the past issues i have had with them makes me very angry and I want to give them something to remember the little kid they pick on by. But like i said i am not going to start on them, i will just wait for the next confrontation.

Is it safe to attack when they out number me and start crowding around me? or should i wait for them to threaten me?

You should do neither. You should tell your parents and contact the police if they assault you again.

can i have them charged for prior confrontations aswell?

Wouldn't hurt to at least talk to them about it.

thanks zanchin..will do

Jerks in school aren't worth lifting a finger for. They're totally insecure and pick on people they think are weak because of that. They're attention seekers, plain and simple. If you ignore them, they tend to look for someone else's attention.