The worst Martial Arts Movies

Posted by: Wosaw

The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 10:14 AM

Just thought it'd be funny to hear what you guys think are the worst martial arts movies (or dealing with MA, the movie doesn't have to be literally about MA) you have ever seen. Please dont get offended if someone picks on your favorite move or w/e. Its just someone opinion Anyways, I would have to say the worst Martial Arts movies I've seen are:

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
Highlander 4: Endgame
Batman and Robin
Street Fighter (both the one with Van Damn and sonny chiba)
Double Dragon (even though I liked it when i was younger)

and thats all I can think of for now.
Posted by: Cord

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 11:59 AM

Sorry, you put chiba's Streetfighter on the list, you're gonna upset me

enter the ninja
knock Off
Van Damme's Streetfighter
Anything by Steven Segal post Glimmer Man, especially 'The Foreigner'
Double Team
Ring of Fire
Anything with Sho Kosugi.

Chiba indeed- tsk tsk
Posted by: MattJ

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 01:28 PM

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - whoever decided to do those movies in that surfer-dude vein should be shot. An insult to the excellent (and TOTALLY different) comics from which they sprang.

3 Ninjas (and all the idiot sequels, too) -

Posted by: Dereck

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 01:54 PM

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ... and any other movie were they float through the air.
Posted by: Ed_Morris

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 02:10 PM

this seems to've been done before...my vote is still 'Gymkata'.

here are some common traits and things to watch for in a bad MA movie:

Bad movie storylines:

* The 'Hero' never get owned but makes the bad guys look like fools, saves the day and gets the girl....all without pulling a trigger or hiring a lawyer.
OR he DOES get owned in the beggining and trains for the rest of the movie to get his revenge....oh yeah, and he gets the girl too. see: van Damme.

* our Hero trains with a mysterious white-haired master on top of a mountain for years...the rest of the story revolves around that; usually with the master giving the student his mission in life before dying ... the movie constantly refers to that training in the form of a flashback. copied from the 'kung fu' TV series.

Bad movie scenarios:

- A samurai vs. Ninja on top of a 40 story office building in downtown Dallas. 80's ninja flicks.

- Police or authorities always arriving at the scene just when the good guy is debating whether to waste the bad guy or not..."No! dont do it! He's not worth it!" ala 'billy jack', 'best of the best', etc.. the MA flicks with a moral delemma as the axis to deliving it's fortune cookie wisdom.

- when a character holds a hand out and motions 'Come get some.'

- bad guy explaining the full evil plot while the good guy, bound and tied, pretends to listen while secretly planning some adhoc means of escape. copied from 007 movies.

- hero always has a one-liner before wasting a bad guy. copied from spehgetti westerns with C. Eastwood.

- overuse of wirework.

- movies where the character has absolutely no sense of humor, but yet chooses to display this trait during a fight.

- MTV-like 1-sec scene cuts and video shakes during fight sequences.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 05:27 PM

Quote:

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ... and any other movie were they float through the air.





Now you've done it, Dereck. Have you actually watched CTHD? That was a really good flick, and I am no fan of wirework.

I ask the rest of the forum to avert their eyes whist I (err....find someone to) kick Dereck's ass.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 05:53 PM

Have I actually watched it? I sat there for the whole gruelling movie at home, so yes I watched it. It was all over the place. The questions should be, have you watched it?

- Here's my ass ... kick away.
Posted by: Raul Perez

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 05:53 PM

No retreat, No Surrender.... Like Van Damm's first movie appearance. Terrible movie but some good martial arts.
Posted by: sandan63

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 05:59 PM

all good films compared to my worst of all time:screaming ninja
Posted by: Cord

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/25/06 06:15 PM

Ok, that must be bad, I havent even heard of it
Posted by: Wosaw

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/26/06 01:38 AM

Quote:

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ... and any other movie were they float through the air



I didn't like it to much either, but I didnt want to be the first one to say it . MattJ, everyone has their own opinion of course, dont get to edgey about it , no disrespect just saying lol, but its cool you liked the movie. I mean I believe it got an emmy (the only MA movie to get one i believe) and im sure you know why MattJ.

Anyways going on, there is this one movie with a guy who plays as Bruce lee throughout the movie...after he died >_>. Needless to say it was a horrible movie, i mean they used screen shots of the real bruce lee in other movies and stuff. I also have to say the Next Karate kid, i dont mind the fact it was a girl as the lead, the movie just sucked. lol
Posted by: Ayub

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/26/06 06:07 AM

Bruce Li - The legend of the game of death......

POOREST FILM EVER. One of the villians was a guy who uses snakes...
Posted by: ShikataGaNai

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 04/26/06 04:10 PM

I'll cast another vote for Street Fighter (the Van Damme one), or just about any other VD movie at that. I even disliked Bloodsport, despite the fact that it's based on an incredible real story. Anything THAT dated...

I hated Kung Pow - didn't find it funny or amusing at all, just annoying.

Worst ever award goes to the TV series "Sidekicks", in which I believe Ke Huy Quan played a grom assisting a police detective with his martial skills (which at least he did actually have). The later version of Kung Fu really sucked too.

MattJ - bump on the Ninja Turtles comic. Still a stunning series even today and nothing else has ever been like it.
Posted by: RazorFoot

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/01/06 10:08 AM

CTHD is a very good film. Not only did it win several awards and gross plenty of money but the characters were developed well and the story was well told. If your only hang up is the wire work, you guys cant see the forest for the trees.

My vote still goes to Gymkata for the worst MA film ever.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/01/06 07:24 PM

Quote:

CTHD is a very good film ... If your only hang up is the wire work, you guys cant see the forest for the trees.



All I hear is blah blah blah. I couldn't see the forest because I got close-lined by a frickin' wire that practically decapitated me.
Posted by: Wosaw

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/02/06 04:11 PM

lol at that last post.

Quote:

CTHD is a very good film ... If your only hang up is the wire work, you guys cant see the forest for the trees.



I not only saw the forest for the trees, but I saw the leaves and other things too!

I didn't like crouching tiger cause...well i didnt like it, the end. Im not gonna bash on it, but I didn't like it not only for the wire work but just the movie altogther. Oh well, dont let that get to you, its only an opinion I'll still respect that some of you liked the movie, just as long as you guys respect that I (and others) dont. =D

Another bad movie: Kung fu hustle
why? cause Stephen Chow tried to hard to make it better than shaolin soccer.
Posted by: pepto_bismol

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/03/06 12:12 AM

Quote:

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ... and any other movie were they float through the air.



you must hate most of Jet Li's movies then...
Posted by: laf7773

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/04/06 06:49 PM

All of Van Damme's movies, especially Bloodsport if only because of Frank Dux.

About 90% of Segal's movies, with MUCH emphasis on Belly of the Beast

Any movie where the 10 year old lead character beats the snot out of a group of Schwarzenegger wanabes.

I actually like Gymkata, when i was about 12.

Anything with Bruce Le (Li) or however he was spelling it at the time. Speaking of Gymkata, anyone ever see Bruce Li's Gymkata Killer from 1980? WOW

Any martial arts movie with Dolph Lundgren.

The Last Dragon with Taimak, you know the guy playing Patrick Swayze's part in Road House the play. Oh and anything with Patrick Swayze.

I was a big fan of martial arts movies when i was younger but now that i think about it i can't think of too many i can even tolerate anymore.
Posted by: pepto_bismol

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 01:21 AM

Quote:

All of Van Damme's movies, especially Bloodsport if only because of Frank Dux.

About 90% of Segal's movies, with MUCH emphasis on Belly of the Beast

Any movie where the 10 year old lead character beats the snot out of a group of Schwarzenegger wanabes.

I actually like Gymkata, when i was about 12.

Anything with Bruce Le (Li) or however he was spelling it at the time. Speaking of Gymkata, anyone ever see Bruce Li's Gymkata Killer from 1980? WOW

Any martial arts movie with Dolph Lundgren.

The Last Dragon with Taimak, you know the guy playing Patrick Swayze's part in Road House the play. Oh and anything with Patrick Swayze.

I was a big fan of martial arts movies when i was younger but now that i think about it i can't think of too many i can even tolerate anymore.



OMG NO Van Damme or Dolph Lundgren? You must hate universal soldier, which I thought was an excellent movie

and kickboxer, another great movie

his movie "in hell" was decent

seriously... why so hard on Van Damme? Dolph is cool, when you see him in a movie you go "hey, THATS DOLPH LUNDGREN!!! "

and your right, segal does suck... really I hate him, I challenge him to a fight to the death!
Posted by: laf7773

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 02:55 AM

Yeah, well when i was 14 i thought Van Damme was the greatest thing since sliced bread too. I also thought Bloodsport was based on actual events too. I do have to admit Universal Soldier wasn't too bad, but then again i haven't seen it in years either.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 01:27 PM

Dolph Lundgren is a "B" movie actor and I couldn't be bothered to watch any of his stuff, though I did enjoy him in Rocky IV and Universal Soldier.

Van Damme has made some pretty bad movies after he fell out of public favor. I however liked Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Universal Soldier, The Quest, Time Cop and my favorite of his, Lionheart. I am interested to see if his attempt at his new movie for 2007 "Kumite" will go right to video like other of his crap or will hit the big screens ... we shall see.

Steve Segal ... I can take him or leave him. I didn't mind On Deadly Ground or Under Siege, they weren't too bad, but he also had his time and place.

The thing is with these guys and others, they sparked our interest for a time but they cannot get out of those characters and we become bored of them. They are too one dimensional and there is only so many times I want to see the same stuff over and over just with a different name. If Bruce Lee wouldn't have died at such a young age people would have become bored of him as well ... heck I did. Jet Li, same thing. Jackie Chan ... at least he is comical and has big name actors and big budgets for his movies and there is something about him that can draw a crowd because he has branched out further then these guys. I don't think he is a great martial artist, don't get me wrong, though I do think he has some good skills but he is entertaining ... that sells.
Posted by: gojuwarrior1

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 03:05 PM

I once saw a movie titled "ninja vs. the mafia" i can only imagine! .

Bloodsport 2
Any mortal combat movie
Any new steven segal flick
the rip off bruce lee movies
Any american made ninja or samurai flick.
Posted by: spoonhammer

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 04:06 PM

Quote:


Van Damme has made some pretty bad movies after he fell out of public favor. I however liked Bloodsport, Kickboxer, Universal Soldier, The Quest, Time Cop and my favorite of his, Lionheart. I am interested to see if his attempt at his new movie for 2007 "Kumite" will go right to video like other of his crap or will hit the big screens ... we shall see.



Check out "Wake of Death", that's actually a very good Van Damme flick, he actually acts in it and acts very well! Kind of edgy, too, with a pretty brutal torture scene....

...As far as good MA's on screen, look for big things in the future from Wu Jing. If you haven't seen "Sha Po Lang" yet, all I can say is...holy crap!

And now for me bad flick pick:

"Rikki Oh"....This film is 2 things to me. It's one of the worst martial arts flicks I've ever seen, and its also the funniest movie I've ever seen! The hero studies Qi Gong (Chi Gung?). Then one day gets sent to prison after killing a drug dealer by punching a hole in his skull...I'l repeat that: He punches a hole in his skull! Right after the drug dealer unload 2 few rounds in his torso. When he gets to prison, the gaurds ask why he didn't have the bullets removed, and Rikki replies "Souvenirs." That's a winner.
While in prison, Rikki makes friends with a retard who had his tongue cut off by teaching him how to a play a flute. Instantly. By the way, any MA that can teach me to make leaf sound like a flute is okay by me.

Then while he's hanging out in the shower, some giant fat guy named Zorro, who looks a lot like a baby, walks up and punches Rikki across a room. Rikki then proceeds to puch a hole in Zorro's stomach. There's also dude named Tarzan who runs around with a trident, crushing peoples' skulls, who in turn has his face punched off, his hands explodededed, and crushed in some sort of pressing machine..trap..thing...
Oh yeah, and there's some fruity dude named Rogan who comes flying out of a sewer to kick a dog in half....I swear, I'm not making this stuff up....
Posted by: ShikataGaNai

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 06:14 PM

Van Damme is a putrid actor and run of the mill as a FILM martial artist. Those of you hating on anything involving wire work should really understand the difference. Yuen Wo Ping compares it to playing with marionettes, which is in a sense it's own seperate martial art - where the emphasis is way more on the art.
But back to Van Damme - I have never seen a fight sequence in any of his films where I was like WOW! It seems like we're supposed to be SOOOO dazzled by his physique and hammy grin that we'll eat up anything he does. Well, I never have. I've also read several articles stating that he is very negligent about safety on set.
Dolph Lundgren is worse - a tool, a meatbag and more one dimensional than paper.

I'm not the final authority or anything, but I prefer films like Kung Fu Hustle (originality, humor, creativity, FUN) or Hero (nonlinear storytelling, multi faceted philosophy/politics, GOOD STORY) because they try to do something different with the genre, not just fill some bottom rung male need to "blow stuff up".
That's just me though. To each their own, as we say around here ALOT.
Posted by: Cord

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 08:40 PM

Quote:

Van Damme is a putrid actor and run of the mill as a FILM martial artist.



On the whole I agree, though wake of death was a corker! i even started a thread just for it when i first saw it. Very different from what you would expect fron JCVD, and better for it.

Quote:

Those of you hating on anything involving wire work should really understand the difference. Yuen Wo Ping compares it to playing with marionettes, which is in a sense it's own seperate martial art - where the emphasis is way more on the art.



I dont hate it, but I think it is overused to the extent that it has lost its ability to thrill.

Quote:

But back to Van Damme - I have never seen a fight sequence in any of his films where I was like WOW!



I thought the action/fight sequences in Hard Target worked incredibly well, far better than the overrated western John Woo projects Broken Arrow and Face Off.

Quote:

I've also read several articles stating that he is very negligent about safety on set.



Thats not his job. He is an actor. It is the Director and stunt coordinator who have this responsibility.

Quote:

Dolph Lundgren is worse - a tool, a meatbag and more one dimensional than paper.



He was awesome in Johnny Mneumonic, a fun psycho in U-sol, and the guy was Drago for heavens sakes! not to mention having about the best real life martial arts credentials of any action star, so go easy on him

Quote:

I'm not the final authority or anything, but I prefer films like Kung Fu Hustle (originality, humor, creativity, FUN)



Am i the only one who missed the joke with kung Fu hustle? it just wasnt funny, and ended up resorting to a CG 'live' manga ending that was just lame.

Quote:

Hero (nonlinear storytelling, multi faceted philosophy/politics, GOOD STORY)



Agreed, top movie, but they could easily have told the story just as well in 40 mins less. it...did....drag...on..a.....bit.



Quote:

not just fill some bottom rung male need to "blow stuff up".



A-ha! a sneaky paraphrase of a GI Jane quote- and you have the cheek to slander Dolph's good name whilst having quotable knowledge of a Demi Moore 'action' movie. For shame
Posted by: Ed_Morris

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 09:17 PM

this looks like it may be a candidate for worst, when it's released:

http://www.whipboy.com/video/ninjafied.mpg
Posted by: Tom02143

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/06/06 09:44 PM

I still have to go with "Game of Death"- the originally released version.....just horrible, with actual cutouts of Bruce's face taped/pasted to the screen.
Sidekicks is pretty lame too. The mullet count alone is enough to make it a laugher!
Posted by: ShikataGaNai

Re: The worst Martial Arts Movies - 05/07/06 05:45 PM

Just to save a little space, I'm not gonna quote Cord's whole post -

- I'll give Wake of Death a shot. I haven't seen it.

- Agreed on John Woo flicks, but I did like the action scenes in Face/Off, despite the dumb story. Of course, most of them were just reshoots of his best hong kong movies.

- I forgot about Lungren in Johnny Pneumonic. Is it me, or was that movie a bit under rated? I'm a big William Gibson fan though...

- Agreed the end of Kung Fu Hustle was kinda lame. But dude, revisit the scene with the two assasins with the shamisen-like instrument of death. Trips me out every time I see it. And I love the crazy landlady!

- I've NEVER SEEN GI JANE! I refused to on account of my love for Alien and Blade Runner, Scott's real gifts to cinema. When the whole world is saying a movie is crappy, I usually skip it unless it's forced down my throat.
How embarassing though...