Olympic Sports: is fencing in danger?

Belnick, stop being an ass.

You know damn well they mean when the Olympics were re-started in the 1800s.

Stop arguing for the sake of arguing.

Spartans had a type of spear/sword fighting put into the original pentathlon in the 500's B.C., as I recall. So, yeah. It was actually part of the original Olympics, so far as the pentathlon was concerned.

Though I do seem to remember that the sword was only used in the event of the spear breaking. And the 776 B.C. Olympics consisted of one event, the straight 400 m dash.

...and moderators are supposed to moderate cussing...

This is from a Fencing Jokesite

This Parry Riposte's for You

As we all know, fencing is in BIG TROUBLE! Dark Forces are at work and fencing may be dropped from the Olympics. Now I know you're thinking: "Wait a minute! They're considering adding men's Freestyle Bungee Cord Jumping and women's Underwater Ultimate Frisbee to the next Olympics. How could they get rid of fencing?"

Well there exists an important market out there that really appreciates men being really manly and doing silly things like emulating yo-yos. This market also really supports any sport that involves women in swimsuits. It is this market that has so far ignored fencing, and to save our beloved sport we must bring fencing to the BEER DRINKING MARKET!

What is the difference between fencing and baseball, basketball, and football (outside the fact that fencing doesn't revolve around the possession of some spheroid piece of leather without any real practical value)? About a zillion bucks, lots of heavy steroid use, and the fact that FENCING ISN'T SPONSORED BY MICHELOB! We need to tap (so sorry) the beer-drinking sports fan's interest. Sadly this will probably require the use of cheerleaders (shudder!). Fencing needs name recognition!

We need to be sponsored by responsible corporations that promote safe driving while producing enough alcohol to stupefy every driver on the planet to the mental capacity of a houseplant. We need to have the Coors Light Foil Championships, the Miller Genuine Draft Epee Finals, and of course Budweiser sponsoring the Bud ALL-AMERICAN ALL-STAR MANLY SABRE MELEE!

Just think of it! Thousands gathered at Madison Square Garden to root on their favorite fencing teams, Everyone drunkenly doing the wave and spilling their beer ("Spill all you want, we'll brew more!") with every parry riposte. The fans would taunt the opposition fencers with cries of, "Hey fencer, fencer, miss that parry, hey fencer fencer..."

Every director's call would be greeted with a happy chorus of "PARRY RIPOSTE! ARE YOU BLIND! THAT WAS BEAT ATTACK ALL THE WAY, YOU JERK! KILL THE DIRECTOR!" Even more exciting is the prospect of the millions of drunken TV viewers screaming at their television sets with equal fervor.

During the televised matches really cool beer commercials would play where groups of sweaty and manly fencers (with flannel shirts and baseball caps thrown over their uniforms) would enter smoky and manly bars and say manly things like:

Mac: (In a very manly voice):

That was a heck of a prise-de-fer attack, Hank. Let me buy you an entire vat of beer.

Hank: (In an even more manly voice):

Thanks, Mac, but you better make it a vat of Miller Lite, I'm performing brain surgery on my own son in the morning.

(The men laugh in a very manly fashion and dump beer on each other.)

In the Budweiser commercials, sabre fencers would simply ogle women in swimsuits who would find the sabre fencers terribly interesting because they could still vaguely pronounce the word "Buuddd" while being three sheets to the wind.

So there you have it. Sure there will be sacrifices, like having to chew gum and spit all the time, and of course the silly nick-names like "BOOM-BOOM," etc. (which are so much easier for the besotted brain to remember). But this is a small price to pay for the survival of fencing.

So grab your flannel shirts and let's get to those bars for more research. Besides with a $100 million a year fencing contract you can retire early and take up another sport, like maybe bungee cord jumping...

I have no beef against fencing. I think it requires a high degree of skill and talent, and should definately be included in Olympic competiton.

However. The Olympics, I think, are supposed to have games/contests that represent a world population participation.

I have been many places in the world and you can always find kids willing to participate in a baseball/softball game, no matter where you are.

I rarely see kids fencing in the street. The sport is by far to elite. Too few coaches, too much equipment involved.

That is why you see such team games as soccer(futbol) and baseball in 3rd world countries. For a very minimum of inexpensive equipment, a whole lot of kids can play.

Hey Imadude- I think Joel was extremely moderate with Belnick. He could have said much worse

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It may be in a sense an elitist sport, but it's one that has participation from the States as well as most of the European nations.I can understand them dropping something like Rugby as it doesn't have much popularity outside of Western Europe, but Fencing is practiced worldwide even if only by an elite few. As for Fencing in the streets, I did it with some friends in a parking lot on Fourth of July.

I think that fencing should remain especially when you have equestrian & sailing sports represented (both much more eliteist). Sport should be man vs. man. Bikes are OK because they require man-power. If sailing is allowed to remain, why not hang gliding or water skiing. Rythmic gymnastics & syncronized swimming??? What happened there? Archery not target shooting. Is Team Handball still in? If so, why not lacrosse?

I got a headache & the IOC got a problem w/ the definition of sport.

owari

Rythmic gymnastics and syncronized swiming both require significant physical and artistic ability by all involved, and target shooting requires perfect control of your body. You and I might not agree with them, but they are sports.

Budoc, I have heard it suggested that this was a jab at the US, which has dominated both baseball and softball games. Frankly, I wouldn't be suprised.

There was nothing in the Olympic rules that states that an included sport must be artistic. BTW, that's the same arguement used by those who wanted to include Ballroom Dancing as an Olympic sport (that it takes strength & stamina and is artistic: comparison w/ figure skating).

Can you say "slippery slope"?

I could definately see a jab being taken against the US in the world of politics that embroils the IOC.

it just doesn't make any sense. Well maybe we are a dominant force in softball, but baseball??

Japan, Cuba, Mexico,dominican Republic all do well in baseball. We didn't even take the gold in it last time

It would be nice to see what the exact criteria are for inclusion, and then see which sports qualify.

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I'm catching alot of $h!t for calling fencing elitest.

I didn't mean it in a bad way, I swear! I love fencing, I've got no beef with it.

However. fencing is not a readily available sport. Either is polo, any of the Equestrian games, target shooting, sailing, I'm sure there are others.

Hundreds of nations get to be represented in the Olympics. Many of them are very poor countries with very poor people. Very,very few of their population would ever get a chance to sample some of these events let alone, formally participate, let alone compete on an international level!

Thats all I'm saying.

Track and field, wrestling, swimming,,basketball, handball, soccer etc.etc. Very little equipment expense. And what little is required can be used by many.

Broader participation, less chance of being cancelled.

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Just as long as we are in agreement over curling (*shudder*).

And the British people were so proud when the UK team won the olypic curling gold medal!! Awww...Bless!

Actually I would be very interested to find out what criteria is for sports being included/excluded

*crosses fingers that they don't cut it* if they did, France and italy would lose alot of medals...

Plus American Fencers are getting alot better.

I wasn't denything that the American Olympic Fencing team is full of Elitist jerks, I'm just saying they're getting better.