*some advice please*

Hello everyone,

I came to this site in hope to gain some insight into fighting. To be honest the real reason why I came here is because my little brother is all grown up now and is now my big brother( im 25 he’s 21) and he’s always messing with me ha-ha. My brother has about 15 lbs on me and thinks he’s a tough guy (im 5’9 145lbs, he’s 6”0 160).

I have never been in a real fight my whole life. I do have good agility and coordination. IV played many sports but im not in the best shape right now. Im going to gain another 10lbs at least and get my cardio vascular health going again.

So what I would like to know is where to begin. Im just too damn soft, I think I need someone to toughen me up and knock me around a little bit ha-ha. I live in the Toronto area and think I would like to try boxing. Is boxing a good place to start? I mean I don’t even know how to throw a proper punch. I don’t see myself in one of those white outfits barefooted. I always have to wear shoes and cannot be barefooted because of some back problems. I just want to learn how to stand up for myself better, not only against my silly brother but in general if some one tried to rob me or what not on the streets. In my eyes I think I need some mean old [censored] to beat my ass in his basement and show me how to defend myself ha-ha. I don’t know please give me some insight. I do not have a lot of cash to throw around as well right now.


Thank You

ASHIHARA OR ENSHIN KARATE!!!

Sounds like you need some confidence. Weight lifting was what gave that to me. Seeing yourself become fitter and stronger and being able to lift some decent weight goes a long way. Boxing most certainly is something to get into if you have the interest. Try some classes and see if it is for you. I wouldn't overlook martial arts; I've seen many people wear shoes which are designed for this type of training.

My brother is 4 years younger than me; he's 6"1 and I'm 5'8"; I know how you feel. Back in 1997 he thought he could get the better of me in an arm wrestle and he dang near did, it took everything I could to win. That was my turning point and started weight lifting and 14+ years later I'm still going. I've always weighed more than him and now I'm 205 lbs where as he is nothing more than 160 lbs on his best day. 6 months after starting I would have ate him for lunch.

Find what works for you. Find that something that will motivate you to do it and to keep doing it.

Welcome to the forums toughen_me_up. I noticed you've made a double post. Use to be a forum rule against that but don't know if it's still in play?

We welcome all the posts we can get, at this stage.

Thank You very much for responding. I just wanted to follow up with leo_e_49, dereck and prizewriter.

In regards to boxing what does "Make sure everything's above board" mean? "save the heavy hits for competitions and self defence" So I should look into self defense classes as well, will tht help me?

Me and my brother fight all the time but no iv never been in a fight outside of tht. Your right when you say i need to assert myself better, how do i do tht, and get some more self confidence in tht area?

I dont look for fights obviously, but theres been cases where iv backed down when i really didnt want too because i no im not tht big and would most likely get messed up.

So yes, basically i want to assert myself better and not be so affraid to fight.

Lifting weights Dereck makes sense for sure. I actually bought a bench press and am going to get into the compound movements and try and add some weight. Im a hard gainer though

Thank You guys

Just make sure that the people there are actually going to help you improve instead of just using you as a punching bag. They should be willing to answer questions you have and spend time showing you better ways to do punches, footwork and counters instead of just throwing you in the ring and letting you figure it out for yourself.



I'm not saying that boxing isn't good enough to form the basis for self defence. I'm just saying that there's a difference in pace between regular training and actually applying techniques full force. If you get hit hard every time you go to the gym, you'll get injured really quickly and that won't help you get better. You'll definitely appreciate this the longer you spend training. When you get to a real competition match or self defence situation, of course you don't necessarily have to hold back.

If you have the cash for a self defence class then they'll be much more targeted towards self defence specifically. I hear that there will be a lot on awareness, avoidance, de-escalation and escape as well as physical self defence. I've never actually been to one but I get the impression that they're of variable quality, you can't really tell ahead of time how good they'll be without getting a recommendation. Police departments often give classes in self defence.



I can't really help you there, I'm no expert on that sort of thing, I'm just a martial artist. That said, a lot of people say they feel more self confident having learned an MA and don't feel that they have to show other people that they're tough.



If you and your loved ones managed to get away safely, you did the right thing. All the better if you avoided hurting other people in the process, that can be legally complicated.

Martial arts (including boxing) can help improve confidence, which will help you improve yourself.

If you want to do something more "self defense" based, would really really recommend looking at Systema as well as boxing.