I got punched in the face

On Halloween I was walking home with my girlfriend at 1am in costume. Up ahead I saw a 4-6 males and felt the danger alarm ringing a little. I think it was the fact there was a few of them and the speed of which they were walking and the way they carried themselves with this sort of male gang powered ego walk or something. Anyway, as we approached, keeping to a side of them, one broke free and sped up and I realized we would have to walk through. So there's 3 to my left in a line and 1 to my right. One to my left said he'd do something to my girlfriend and then the one to my right punched me in the face. He must have just bought his right hand up and clipped me, we all then kept walking.

It really got to me, I felt weak, foolish and helpless to be honest. The punch itself hurt my feelings more than anything and I believe I let shock overcome me. I'm going to be honest, this is the Internet afterall and I'm not ashamed, but I actually cried. I think this was partly due to my girlfriend not understanding but then again I can't shift blame onto her or anyone else.

It got to me so much, knowing I would probably never see him again, knowing I didn't even look at them enough to see who they were or anything.

My point is that this has changed me for the better. I once thought of myself as somehow capable when-it-comes-to-it but it came to it in a form which I never thought would happen. Simple as that, walk passed, got punched. I let my guard down when it should have been up, I probably should have crossed the road earlier when I felt alarms ringing.


I have cried with shock before once when I fell over, I believe it was shock because it wasn't particularly painful.

I would like some advice on what's best to do in the future, and I would also like advice on how to deal with shock reactions. Thank you

I, first of all, admire your candor. Not alotta people out there who could admit to that.

As to your question ...In my experience, the only real way you can get used to "Shock Experiences", as you say, is by having them happen more often. Not really something you can necessarily emulate while sparring or anything. It doesn't make you weak, but it may make you foolish for not listening to the warning bells in your head and crossing the street. But, on second thought, some folks would feed off that kind of hesitancy on your part, especially when it has to do with Group of guys like that. They could have advanced. So in retrospect, there MAY not have been anything you could have done about it. I'm sure other people will have something to say about that, though.

Keep yer head up, keep training, and refrain from walking late at night with your girlfriend in that neighborhood. Or period.

Welcome to one of the hard truths about real world self-defense: people who attack you are most likely to do so when they have an overwhelming advantage, in your case, numbers. Their purpose was to humiliate and thus make themselves feel important. You've got nothing to be ashamed of. Had you acted differently, you and your girlfriend would have been beaten senseless by this mob of human trash.

landus

think you feel a lot more shame with you girl being there aswell,but time heals these things,and will make you stronger.ive had soemthing like this happen to me,you never forget it but use it,so next time you can handle it in a way that dont affect you so hard.remember what they done was nothing personal, but beacause you have taken it personal,it has affected you more. they scum and you not the first person they did this to,and certaintly wont be the last.

after reading what happened to you it reminded me of this http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ySNWVBDutaI&feature=related

two bits o scum attack this guys girl a lot like you discribe,and although its debatable if the way this guy reacts is something you would merit when faced with multiple attackers its still amazing to watch .

Landus,
There are lessons that if you survive you can learn alot. This is one of them. A little dose of reality regarding your abilities and perceptions. You'll probably always listen to that listen from now on.
The best thing for a stress reaction is heavy breathing to slow down the heart rate. Later when possible workout to the point of exhaustion to get rid of all the unused stress chemicals.
Your girlfriend probably understands the tears better than you so I wouldn't worry about her thinking less of you.
Tears are a sign of strength not weakness. I learned that from a cop who was blinded by gunfire. It's just your mind and body taking care of itself.

Landus, I have felt similar things myself after being jumped one night. I kept asking what happened to my training, why had I not been able to defend myself, why...

The upshot was that I was being given a second chance at a relatively small price (just a couple of bruises). But yeah, the shock, the feeling of weakness and fear that as someone who'd been trained i still lost in a fight (without giving one).

The tears probably are delayed shocjk and are nothing to be ashamed of.

As some of the others have said, your actions (or what you may feel were 'lack of actions') are probably what saved you and your girlfriend from much worse. Indeed, it was probably your fear/care for your girlfriend which kept you from doing anything physical.

Look on it as a positive learning experience, with a second chance (for a cheap price).

Have you spoken to your girlfriend about it?

When you get TKOed, crying from the shock is a pretty common reaction, don't worry about it.

I agree that your actions were probably the best you could have taken, given the circumstances.

Landus, had you tried to fight you would have been overwhelmed by numbers. Your girlfriend might have been assaulted. I'm fairly certain that you would have had a lot more to be sorry about than some shock and a bruised ego.

Even if you could have beaten them all up I doubt it would have been a desirable outcome. You'd have engaged in a brawl for no real benefit.

Nor should you be concerned that you should have "taught him a lesson" so that he won't do it again. Firstly, it's not your job to "clean up society": don't ever try to be a vigilante. Secondly (and most imporantly) there are too many idiots out there; trying to "educate" them all is as pointless as swatting mosquitoes at a barbecue. They're out there and they always will be. Avoid them as best you can. Fight when you have no option. Aggression must only be resorted to as a regrettable necessity.

The same kind of thing has happened to me many times. A gang walked past me as I was sitting in a cinema and one of them slapped me hard over the back of the head. Once I was waiting in a queue when a bunch of thugs pushed through - one threw a punch which just caught me on the cheek as I dodged. I never did anything to retaliate and I'm glad I didn't. There was nothing to be gained.

Recently my brother was cycling home when he came upon a gang spraying graffiti. When he asked them what they were doing they pelted him with full beer bottles. Luckily he rode away unscathed, but the bottles narrowly missed him.

There are too many mosquitoes out there my friend.

I suspect that if you were in the same position with the benefit of hindsight you would be well advised to do EXACTLY the same as what you did that night (well - maybe you'd try to dodge/deflect the blow).

There is no shame.

No shame in what happened at all Landus. Try not to dwell on it too much. Hopefully, these morons will punch the wrong guy one too many times. They are likely to be seriously injured or killed acting this foolishly. Some people do carry and may have shot them. I wonder if idiots like this ever think of the real danger of being stupid.

Try to avoid that kind of scenario next time is the best you can do. You just can't fix stupid!

Landus,

A group of 4-6 guys and one sucker punches you? This is a bunch of loser cowards. I hope you called the police and are willing to charge them with assult. These jerks need some jail time to help them learn how to conduct themselves in civil society.

Don't be hard on yourself, unless you didn't report the crime. These types of people have to be taken off the street and be taught a lesson (by the judicial system).

Michael

Landus, don't beat yourself up over this. I have been in some circumstances similar and I have let it eat at me for many years, and reading this brings back those memories. You go over and over in your head what you could have done differently but you will never truly know and if you constantly dwell on this it will do you no good. You have to accept what has happened and move beyond it; and learn from it if there is something valuable there.

Right now this is probably more an ego thing. Just think if you had seen them and moved across the street to avoid them what is to say that they wouldn't have seen you and moved to intercept. Things could have been far worse in this situation as then you know they all might be looking for a confrontation.

These are punks; losers. Perhaps they all weren't bad eggs and why only two chose to be @sses; one saying something about your girlfriend while the other punched you. But they are all guilty by association and if you hang with scum you probably are no better.

I can guarantee if you would have retaliated then they all would have been on you and more then just your ego would be hurt; and perhaps your girlfriend. If you would have blocked or even dodged the strike the person may have been ticked and would not have kept walking looking to redeem himself in his friend's eyes.

Trust me, this is minor. It may take a while for you to minimize this to yourself but don't constantly think about it; again trust me as it will eat at you for years otherwise. You cried in front of your girlfriend, did she make you feel like a schmuck because of it? I highly doubt it and probably takes no explanation to her but if you feel you need to then explain it to her; she'll understand if she really cares about you.

I feel for you; I really do. Take care Landus.

Thank you all for your replies they've been very kind and much appreciated. It really got to me at the time, my girlfriend didn't make me feel like a schmuck for the tears and I am getting over it swiftly, although in honesty it still slightly nags at me.

As a lot of you say it could have been a lot worse. I thought that even if I did block/dodge it, he or his friends may have just went for more. In future I will cross the road rather than walk past.

It does still nag at me a bit but in a better way than before; I'm going to look at it as a reminder that it happened, I have to just move on, I can't get revenge, and I don't need to get revenge.

I thought about ringing the police once I had got to my girlfriends house but dismissed the idea; partly because the police in the midlands, England, never seem to do much and by then the thugs could have been far away. I won't be ashamed of not ringing them, as I believe me hitting them would have been the same as them being arrested and that a bigger more national approach should be taken to avoid these sort of incidents.

I have learnt from this and it has been a wake-up call to some ego problem/s I have. I am lucky to learn from a small incident like this as I could have been more severely injured, possibly have marks to permanently remind me of this. I hope that if it happens to anyone of you, or has happened, that you can turn it around in a positive way as I am trying to do.

Thank you all again for your replies

Good to hear Landus and take care of yourself.

Landus don't feel bad sometimes confidence or unawareness cause us to be prey to the unsuspecting or unreasonable.

There is s such a thing as being in the wrong place at the wong time.

You trusted these guys to be humane and they were not. This has happen to NCAA wrestlers and other very skilled people that didn't heed their inner warning system.

Here is how I train against this (*** warning you may not like it bc you won't feel like Jackie Chan or S-man ***).

I tell my students and we work this in class. In similar situations where a unfamilar group approach. Almost as soon as u see or notice your inner alarm warn you start to cross the street heading the same direction. This takes you out of range of going through the crowd/ambush. Now if they start to cross with you its time to RUN and hang on to your baby. Get into a safe establishment and call the bobbies/Cops.

Now I know thats not the macho way of handling this and some would rather fight the odds or take a punch in the face to prove you are a man. But it is the Path of least resistance and what I would do and how I train it.

Let me explain I'm not a pacifics I've had my share of street fights. Have told my fellow agressors to leave a victim alone before formal training. Got my a$$ whipped and whipped some a$$.

You got lucky in a worse case scenario youy could have been beaten badly and your girl friend rapped and both sent to the hospital. I'm a fairly high ranking Martial artist 6'3 225lbs have whipped 3 punks before (not something I'd want to try again), but I would never walk through a group of thugs/Punks or skinheads what does it prove that I'm a gambler and can't defend 8 strikes at once or like being ambushed?

YOU Are A LUCKY MAN, I advise stop being lucky and be wise.

Take the path of least resistance.

"I thought about ringing the police once I had got to my girlfriends house but dismissed the idea; partly because the police in the midlands, England, never seem to do much and by then the thugs could have been far away. I won't be ashamed of not ringing them, as I believe me hitting them would have been the same as them being arrested and that a bigger more national approach should be taken to avoid these sort of incidents."

By reporting these types of incedents, larger society will be aware that this is a problem society faces. It needs to be part of the crime statistics in order for larger society to take a stand. These guys may not be caught, but that's only a small part of the reason to report.

Anyway, I glad to hear your doing well.

Glad to know you are doing well. And that you have such a postive and society aware aggressive method of reasoning.

Learning can be painful but you will never forget. Your situation confirms my belife on how to handle this.

Reporting things is fine if you have something viable to report. If you cannot remember what they look like then what are you going to report? 4 guys walking down a street that they are not there anymore? The police will not be able to do anything with this information and will just dismiss it for stuff they can conclusively work on. Chasing ghosts is a waste of time.

Good description would be a starter. Picture taken of individual(s) with phone is a good starter.

Because so little happened again I don't think the police would bat much of an eye over this incident. Bigger fish to fry.

Not trying to dismiss what happened. Not trying to diminish it in any way, I am just looking at this logically. Big issues don't get the attention it needs, what makes you think this would?

Take for instance something that happened months ago in my city. Bunch of guys get together and rob a liquor store behind my brother's place. They walk right up the cat walk beside his place and steal a car. They crash directly into my mothers Jeep Cherokee parked in front of my brothers; totaling it. Then they continue to drive the crashed car around the corner right in front of the liquor store they just robbed where the police (RCMP) are just responding to the alarm. Kids bail except the driver. Kids are under age except the driver who is 18; a legal adult. They arrest them and what happens ... gets to go home and he lives 6 houses away from my brothers. Does not serve any jail time and I "suspect" he is awaiting trial. My mother's Jeep she is responsible for through her insurance and gets a very low depreciated value for the vehicle PLUS now her insurance rate will go up.

Stuff like this is not unheard and is far bigger an issue then somebody punching somebody on the street. That is wrong and should not happen and people should not live in fear however this issue and following "laws" serves nobody but the criminal. If it was my vehicle I would have responded myself to this 18 year old and would have probably resulted in me being charged as I would have got my monies worth out of his property or his parents. I would visit pure evil upon them.

The police are busy and I wish they could handle everything but that is not possible; especially with limited information that would result in nothing more then put in a file and forgotten.

I think you missed my point. The police probably will just file a report and forget about it. The purpose of reporting is to document this incident in the crime statistics. There may be a trend in the area and they will know to put more patrols in the area (or a camera or whatever). If it's part of the stats, efforts may be made to address these problems on a social scale.

One could sure wish for that but I think you will find that it probably wouldn't make it that far. Taking if from the point of the police, there is no real information to record.

But I see your point.

Hi, Landus!
I'm glad the guys jumped in to give you support. Incidents like these don't kill us, but they sure bruise our egos and hurt like hell.
In my younger, dumber days I tried to act the Martial Arts movie hero in circumstances where the odds were against me, and wound up variously ass-whupped, with broken bones, bruised and bleeding noggin' and, twice, almost shot. In one or two occasions I fought my way out of situations where friends who witnessed the incident later congratulated me on my bravery and MA acumen. If I hadn't had a young man's ego I would've told them the real truth: That I was so scared that bravery had nothing to do with it, it was a question of finding the quickest way to run and get away, and one or two of the attackers happened to make the mistake of being in my way. Years later I was amused to read much the same words from Marc "Animal" McYoung.
The dirty little secret that most kwoons-dojangs-dojos don't tell you is that unarmed fighting is pretty inefficient, that the caveman with the club is miles ahead of the guy with all the fancy training and that God is on the side of the big batallions. All MAs can do is whittle down the odds to where perhaps you can survive, possibly unhurt. Once in a great while, when superb training combines with abysmally inept attackers and MOUNTAINS of good luck do you get the one or two incidents of which the MA tall tales you hear spouted about are made of.
Dude, you don't fight unless you have to, 'cause if you do the odds are against you of ever achieving that heroic victory we all dream of and oh, so very few ever make happen. You went home pretty much unhurt, so did your girl friend, and the lady is being supportive. You also learned to next time trust your instincts. All in all you did pretty good in a bad situation.
Best to you.

learning from this experience is the best thing you can do, most people would probably walk around with a chimp on their shoulder, looking to prove themselves in some way, probably the same flaw that resulted in those idiots treating strangers than way, i live in a rather bad neighborhood, i combat these encounters by being aware of the dangers and avoiding some areas, but that isnt always enough

though i have never had this happen to me, i did witness a similar situation and got involved with the aftermath, a good friend of mine was minding his own business with his girlfriend at a party, another guy had been bothering her all night, he had been ignoring it or trying too, since the other guy had a lot of friends with him, after i arrived at the party, he decided he wanted to do something and for me to help, i convinced him to drop it, later that night after most everyone had gone home for the night, including his girlfriend, the guy came up behind my friend and kick him in the back, knocking him to the ground, i was about 15 yards from him when it happened, the guy just walked away from him, i was needless to say very angry, and a little on the drunk side.. somewhat impaired judgment resulted in me approaching him, and before he could even laugh and say "what" my fist was square in his throat, his friends took this as an opportunity to rush me and my friend whom was just getting up off the ground, at the end of the night, i was bloody, clothing all ripped up and had quite a bit of pain in my right shoulder when all was said and done, the fight was broken up shortly after it started, i hurt them a lot more than they hurt me, but nothing compared to what they did to my friend, whom still suffers effects from that night now nearly 3 years ago

if i could have just tended to my friend, and let that anger go, he would have been just fine, i still cant believe i acted that way and caused this to happen, how can you really repent for something like that, you should just be happy all you had to deal with was a little smack to the ego, doesnt matter how tough you are.. the chances that you could have protected yourself AND your girlfriend, out numbered and unarmed and VERY low, could you live with the alternate outcome if you had of attacked?

Thank you all again for your replies. I'm pretty much over the incident now, I've accepted it happened and that it could have been far worse. This has taught me to listen to my inner alarms for real in the future, and that things like this happen can happen, even to myself (which was probably one of the tough things to admit). Although now I feel a bit more wise from this and I can use it to motivate me in times of weakness or struggle.

Landus, sorry I have come to this so darned late- not been online too much this month.

1. Crying: It doesnt mean anything other than an emotional release. One of my very best friends of old, 19 stone, started working doors with me years back, he now runs a door team in Manchester, as well as working close protection/minding for some celebs/sports stars. He is one of the truly hardest people you could meet- he cries like a girl after every physical encounter, even if he hasnt been hurt- its just a pressure valve response to the adrenaline, so dont feel bad about it.

2. You want to know what youy can learn from it? You are old enough now to know that in the UK, Bonfire night and halloween are used by certain elements of teenage society as a chance for damgerous and anti-social behaviour. The dark, combined with the ability to wear masks, and carry fireworks etc all contribute to increased risk for law abiding people. Knowing this, frankly, you should have got a taxi at 1am on Hallows eve, not walked anywhere.

Outside of that, you did just fine. You kept walking, preventing youself from being surrounded. Your lack of direct eye contact and retaliation removed your attackers impulse to continue, and you and your GF got home safe.
That is successful self defence.

interestingly enough, I too have a Halloween 'yob' story from this year.

I had friends over for a horror movie marathon, and was dressed up as Jason Vorhees- good replica hockey mask, boiler suit and loads of fake blood
Had the front garden done out as a graveyard, with fake headstones and pumpkins all the way up the path to the front door. All light bulbs were painted red or green, so the house was glowing from every window.
This was all so that the families in the area knew we were trick or treat friendly, and we had a great response till around 7.30pm when the kids just stopped coming around.
i didnt think too much about it till I went to get a beer and looked out the kitchen window to see a group of 10 or so 'youths' loitering outside the front of my house, drinking beer and acting like idiots. As I watched, one of them spat on my car, as parents with dressed up kids gave our house a wide birth.

I was not happy.

I grabbed my baseball bat, and stepped out onto my path, resting the bat against the door so it was not in view of the gang. The security light came on, bathing me in a red glow (I was still in full costume), and I just stood there, absolutely still, till one of the group clocked me. He did a double take, then sort of motioned and said 'alright mate'. I stood still, silent, and continued to stare from behind the mask. The lad caught his groups attention, and pretty quick they were all looking at me, trying to make contact. I just continued to be a statue, glaring at them.
After a few jeers, one of the group stepped forward as if to come onto my path- as he did so, I took one solid step forward, mirroring his action. He stopped, thought about it for second, then turned to his 'mates' and said 'lets go', and they ran up the road shouting obscenities and threats behind them.
I remained where I was, knowing that they would probably come back to damage the house or car. Staying so still, the security light went out. A minute or so later, sure enough, they started returning from where they had run to. I waited till they got about 10 feet away and stepped slightly left to trigger the security light- they must have jumped about a foot in the air, and, completely unnerved, ran off for good

I was very pleased with this,and found it most fun to do, but, when I sobered up, I had to acknowledge that I had challenged a group of 10-12 guys with nothing more than a plastic mask. If it had gone different, then baseball bat or not, the odds were not in my favour.

Cord,

That is awesome.

-TKD_X

I wonder how they explained that down at the kindergarden!

Now that is funny Trevek.

Thanks Dereck, glad you liked it.

haha that's such an amazing story cord it's ok about late replies I am late at replying myself, it would have been so funny to see them all jump things like that are great. I really like the way you went about it it's how I would have liked to if I had a baseball bat and it just shows that they ran without even seeing the bat.

Also really interesting to hear that of your friend I guess crying really is nothing to be ashamed of and since all of this happened my understanding is so much better. I definitely know now that halloween and bonfire night are potential danger nights.

Cord wrote - I was very pleased with this,and found it most fun to do, but, when I sobered up, I had to acknowledge that I had challenged a group of 10-12 guys with nothing more than a plastic mask. If it had gone different, then baseball bat or not, the odds were not in my favour.


Cord that's just a lunch break for JASON
Anyway way to ride on another Monsters reputation. If you really wanted to scare them you should took of the Mask and showed them your tattoed face and peirced nose and chin

You know I'm just joking I don't even know if you even got a piercing or tattos visible, but thats sound like how I envision you scary looking!!

Quote:

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...since all of this happened my understanding is so much better...

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Nope, not yet. The point of Cord's story is that it was fun to do, but upon sober thought not worth it. This because the baseball bat was not enough of an equalizer to overcome the sheer number of potential opponents. Don't trust me on this, read for yourself:

Quote:

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I was very pleased with this,and found it most fun to do, but, when I sobered up, I had to acknowledge that I had challenged a group of 10-12 guys with nothing more than a plastic mask. If it had gone different, then baseball bat or not, the odds were not in my favour.

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I think Cord would be the first to admit this worked because he got lucky in that the gang was stupid enough to allow themselves to be freaked out by the Jason costume and it's superhuman, terrifying association. Otherwise, who knows? But it wouldn't have been good.
...Still, it's a great stunt to have carried out!