Have you experienced violence?

Posted by: MattJ

Have you experienced violence? - 03/20/07 11:43 AM

Have you experienced violence in your life? What age were you? Where did it happen? Did you start it? Please respond.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/20/07 01:19 PM

Experienced Violence = Yes
What Age = Young Adult
Where Did It Happen = Bar; Company Christmas Parts & Other; Acreage Party
Did you Initiate it = No … came to the aid of co-works & friends
Multiple Attackers = Yes

I will also go on the records for saying that I've also experienced violence due to stupidity and looking for fights as a young adult 19 - 21 years old. Driving around calling insults out at people and if they responded stopping the vehicle and getting out and beating that person up. Or driving around downtown looking for people to thump for the hell of it. Both stupid and thankfully I grew up.
Posted by: clmibb

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/20/07 01:55 PM

Experinced violence - Yes
What age - Youth, Teens
Where did it happen - Home
Did you initiate it - No
Mulitple attackers - No

Mine were mostly with my older sister (it goes WAY beyond sibling rivalry). She pulled a gun on me when I was 6 and a knife on me when I was 15. Both times were over stupid things like I changed the tv channel when she was "watching" a program (she wasn't even in the room). the other time was because some friends and I came home from the neighborhood park and stopped by my house to get something to drink. My mom didn't want a bunch of kids at the house while she was gone. My sister gets huffy and tells everyone to leave and I told her that we were going to get some water first and cool down a bit and then we were going to leave. She took out one of my dad's filet knives and starts to point it at me. I tell my friends to get out of the house and that I would deal with her. After a few minutes she calmed down and I left and went to my aunt's house (also in the same neighborhood) until my mom got home. Neither time a single punch was thrown, just talked my way out of it. She moved out shortly after that and I haven't lived under the same roof as her in over 10 years.

Casey
Posted by: RazorFoot

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/20/07 02:48 PM

Experinced violence - Yes
What age - Young Adult
Where did it happen - Pool Hall
Did you initiate it - No
Mulitple attackers - No

Shooting pool with a friend and I was a friend of the owners. She (the owner) was having trouble with a patron who had been drinking too much. SHe had asked him to keep it down on several occasions but to no avail. When he began causing problems with people shooting games around him, she was going to put him out. She knew that my friend and I were both MA's and asked me if I would back her up. I said yes.

Since by this point he had become threatening toward her and some of the other patrons, she approached him with a night stick in her hand and told him he had to leave. He grabbed the night stick and I grabbed him. He tried to use his free arm, the arm closest to me, to elbow me in the face. I caught his elbow and pulled his arms across his body so that I had them crossed in front but I had both his wrists behind him as I pushed him through the doors from behind. I simply told him to leave and gave him a mild shove up the sidewalk. He took the hint and did not come back.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/20/07 03:56 PM

Quote:

Experienced Violence = Yes
What Age = Young Adult
Where Did It Happen = Bar; Company Christmas Parts & Other; Acreage Party
Did you Initiate it = No … came to the aid of co-works & friends
Multiple Attackers = Yes

I will also go on the records for saying that I've also experienced violence due to stupidity and looking for fights as a young adult 19 - 21 years old. Driving around calling insults out at people and if they responded stopping the vehicle and getting out and beating that person up. Or driving around downtown looking for people to thump for the hell of it. Both stupid and thankfully I grew up.




Just to add to this, I left out any youth fights which I was in a lot. When I lived in Manitoba up until 9 years old I was an over active child that constantly got into fights that I mostly started. I had to see a guidance councilor and a psychiatrist and was stuck on Ritalin, and that was in the early 70's. When I moved to Alberta however I wasn't on any medication and didn't see anybody and I was not as tough as I thought I was and lost just as many as I won. At the age of 14 I got a distaste for fighting and only had maybe 2 fights from 14 to 19.

As an adult at 38 I still have a distaste for fighting and hope I never have to however I have a thirst for competition fighting but that is probably as I know I can tap out whereas in a real life encounter there is no such thing. Back when I was younger you could basically tap out by giving up or lying there in your blood but not now a days.

For the above my very last fight was at a company Christmas party and was about 2001 and I was 33. My cloths got destroyed. My face bounced off a cabs door handle opening a gash above my eye and my hands were like meat and were extremely sore for weeks afterwards ... and I came out on top. Definitely not worth it, though I only came to the aid of a friend who actually started it all. And with past fights of having stitches, a nose operation to fix a deviated septum, bruised ribs and black eyes and broken noses ... definitely not something I strive for nor want. I grew up and hope I never have to do anything like this unless it is to defend myself or others.
Posted by: Chen Zen

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/20/07 05:37 PM

How unfortunate. I was able to respond yes to every question.
Posted by: swseibukan

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 10:44 AM

Checked all but two. Senior and female.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 10:50 AM

Checked all but two. Senior and male.

Quote:

Checked all but two. Senior and female.




On the 'Other' category...I wonder what that entails? Does military experience fall into that...or under 'Work'? I mean, 'experiencing violence'...it's pretty broad. From domestic to workplace to wartime, and from the mental to the physical.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 11:08 AM

Interesting to note that mulitple attackers are at about 50% in the poll curently. That's a bit higher than I would have expected.

I am also interested to see what the "other" places are.
Posted by: Taison

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 11:42 AM

Experinced violence - Yes
What age - Teens, Young adult
Where did it happen - Restuarant, ghetto/slums of Bangkok
Did you initiate it - No
Mulitple attackers - No

First one I've already told in another part of the forum regarding my client.

The other ones I was witness to and once got involved. Nothing I want to talk about though besides it was stupid and bloody. I don't like bump-fights, and I generally put people that do so in this category; Idiots.

If you want to fight, join a boxing gym, not an illegal 'fight-club'. Let's just say, I got involved only once, and instantly developed a distaste for this type of fighting.

I'm a very peacefull person. I follow Buddhas teaching of 'non-aggressiveness' but if forced to, you'll see a demon unleashed in me.

-Taison out
Posted by: tkd_high_green

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 12:08 PM

I think that depends on how you justify violence.

Sure, I was in my fair share of squabbles as a kid, but the only really violent situation I was in, was with my x. Violence can be subtle, it doesn't have to come to blows.

Had he actually hit me, not just the cabinet behind me, I would probably have left that situation much sooner than I had, but its easy to justify violence or abuse, when its more subtle. Its taken me a long time to realize what kind of damage he actually did to me and to begin recovering from it.

Laura
Posted by: oldman

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 02:52 PM

Folks,
Many times as individuals we look at our experiences in life as normal or average. It was not until my mid thirties that events conspired to cause me to reflect back over events in my life. Again , up until that point I had never really considered the impact the events had on my perceptions of the world. One other perspective that matt's survey doesnt address (sorry Matt) is the concept of "Vicarious Abuse" or Vicarious Violence. That is violence that we witnesss or are aware of and can do nothing about. Though it technically does not happen to us it can be tramatic and have lasting repercussions.

To be honest it, is a bit painfull to reflect on it all at once. It is a bit like trying to eat a salami in one sitting rather than slicing it thinly and putting it on a sandwich each day.

So here is a walk through.

In a few year period within a 2 block radius of my home 2 young people (my friends) were abducted and a third experienced an temped abuction but escaped.

The first was Heather B. She was with her brother and another friend playing in the woods near their home. She was abucted, sodomized and found the next day, alive, being held capive in an apartment building near the woods.
Her abductor was caught and prosecuted.

I was the friend in that story. I was in the woods with them that day.

The second was Jeff R. who lived on the other side of the woods. He was a friend. We were both in junior high. Jeff was abducted also. He was missing for some length of time. His naked body was found in the Mississippi river bound with nylon rope.

His killer was never found.

In the third incedent a young boy was walking home from a friends around 9:00. As he crossed a field a man approached him and asked him to come to his car to help him get it started because of a mechanical problem. The boy declined and moved away from the man. The man continued to move forward grabbing the boys sweatshirt and attempted to pull the boy into his car. The boy responded with a round kick to the outside of the mans knee. The man lost his grip and the buy fled.

That boy was me.


I'll just tell the some other stories of the situations sequentually.

I was beaten by 3 young men in a locker room at school. My mother was a teacher at my school. She had failed the young men in her class. Because of that they lost their athletic eligability. They didn't have a whole lot going for them. They took their anger out on me.

As I was not one to violate the unspoken boy code. I said nothing about the incidents. That would become a pattern for many years in my life.

When it got back through other channels what happened the boys were suspended.

I too was punished. I was punished by my mother for not telling her about the incident.

Next event. I was held at knife point in another lockeroom. My assailant, another student backed my up against a wall and pressed a knife into the flesh of my neck and said "I ought to cut you bitch". He enjoyed the fear he saw in my face. When he turned his head to his audience and laughed I took the opportunity to brake his arm, pin him to the ground and take the knife. I put the knife in the teachers desk.

I heard someone say later that year , "Don't F*ck with him. He'll break your arm".

Next, Teen road rage? Three teens in a car felt I had wronged them in some way. I fled in my car with them in persuit for about a mile. They tried to force me off the road but I was able to go around them by driving up and over the curb. I drove toward my house. When I arrived I decided to make a break for the house. The three caught up with me. I tried to reason with them them since I had no Idea what they were angry about. One guy yelled something about his sister, who of course I did not know. One guy stood between me and my house. He could see that I was trying to get to the door and cut me off. He then grabbed me. When he did I threw him using osoto gari. Neighbors started to come out of their houses because of the noise. The remaining 2 picked up the third and helped him back in their car as the swore and promised payback.

Great. Now they know where I live. Are they going to come back? If so WHEN?

Next, Valley Golf. I was 18. I was closing up the skatebord park I ran. I was walking to the golf clubhouse near by. Three guys who were perpetual pains in the ass began to harass and threaten me. I hind site I may have been able to de escalate this one but I didn't. In anger and frustration I said some things that were not, well, prudent. One picked up a half of a brick and raised it as if he intened to hit me. I was mad as hell. I fought 2 of them. The third ran away leaving me standing over his two larger friends. I began to chase him but cut off the chase as my head cleared.

Next stupid college frat meliay. I almost had my head taken off with a golf club. It came so close to my jaw that I felt the coolness of the metal as it passed my cheek.

That was enlightening.

Everyting since then has been avoidence or intrevention on behalf of others

Between 14 and 18 there were too many incedents to catalog. Many didn't come to blows. During those years for me there was a sense that violence could erupt at any time.

About a month ago I was talking to another adult male about my same age. We chatted and I mentioned where I was from and he began to laugh. When I asked him why he told me this. "When I got out of college my first job was in the "Q.C.'s" It was weird". I asked him what was weird?. He replied " I've lived alot of places in my life. The thing about the "Q.C.'s" is everyone wanted too fight. People just couldn't go out and have a good time. Someone always had to start some $hit. Am I crazy? I mean is it just me?" I told him he was not crazy and it was not just him.


To be honest there were other situations some not worth metioning and others that I won't share today.

My practice of the arts over my adult years has helped me to understand the impact of the events of my earlier life on my thinking and body. I have come to understand that practicing martial arts after experiencing violence can leave you like a dog chasing it's tale. For me just arming myself was not the answer. You just end up reinforcing fear. As they say there's always someone bigger faster stronger.... You know, $hit happens. Life is unpredictable. It is counter productive to build a fortress or a panic room that you can never leave. . .No one can be perfectly safe in the world. What you can do is become heathlier, safer, and better informed.

I would like myself and the people I train with to be as prepared as possible to deal effectively with violence. Before and after. Most of us, thankfully are rarely in danger. If you have experienced more violence than most your brain and you body may need frequent reminders of how rich, beautiful life can be. Also how deep and satisfying, loving and supportive relationships can be.


I'm prepared as well as I can be but [censored] happens. Life is unpredictable. If you can catch me, be ready for a hellova fight. I may do something you don't expect. I have modest skills and more experience than most. I v'e got great benefits and health care. If you manage to do me in my wife and kids may miss me but not that much. They will be financially set, and their educations provided for in my abscence. They will also be supported by a large network for friends and family. I enjoy life more than ever but I'm prepared to go. Bad guys, bring it on.

So in part the violence that I have experienced in my life has brought me to this point and for that I'm gratefull. So greatfull in fact I may beat your ass or buy you lunch. You just never know.

Life is unpredictable.



As I sit here writing this I am thankfull. And really happy.


Mark
Posted by: Chen Zen

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 02:58 PM

Quote:

Checked all but two. Senior and female.




Checked all but three. Middle Age, Senior, and female.


Its sad actually. Made me o back and remember alot of things that I had pushed to the side. I was a horrible person.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:01 PM

Quote:

I am also interested to see what the "other" places are.




You only gave us choices of Home, School, Work, Sports Event, Bar and Other. I choice two choices, bar and other as it was a party at an acreage. However I should have also chosen work because in 1988 after being here 2 months I got into a fist fight with another employee. I actually knew the guy from his brother and I got a long well with him. We used to horse around in the plant wrestling and one time I trip him up and he did a face plant on the concrete floor. I went to check on him and when I bent over he got up and smashed his fist into above my eye opening it up. I lost it and started thundering him to a point where he shelled up on the ground which I then grab his hair and kept smashing my fist into his head until I was left with a handful of hair. It was broken up by another employee who was supervising at the time. Fortune for us it was the company's 20th Anniversary and the place was on a skeleton crew so none of the management was there. We were going to have it out at the end of the day but it never happened. The next day was Friday so he and I ended up sorting things out and became good friends after that. We stopped work at about 2:30 and sat watching the traffic go by while we polished off a 26 of Bacardi White Rum that I had in my car and then headed to the bar afterwards. We got so drunk that the next day when we had to go to the Anniversary supper party that we both had hang-overs. The fight came up and it was discussed but as we had made up then it wasn't even a big thing. Now as things have progressed and there are more rules and regulations there is no way this wouldn't lead to suspension or being fired. However fighting is not expected from me but is excused as after the fight after the Christmas party I noted above, all that management wanted to know is if I won or not.
Posted by: harlan

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:01 PM

Thanks, Oldman, for the reflections.

This is a good poll...is makes one reflect and wonder if we have buried things, or managed to let them go. I'd like to think I've let some of the bad stuff go...but there are memories that I'd rather avoid...and I guess those are the ones I'll have to address some day.

No matter, luck or persistance, everyone responding is a survivor. That's something.
Posted by: Chen Zen

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:04 PM

Did you expect a response from a non survivor? Corpse? Zombie?
Posted by: oldman

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:08 PM

Remember Chen there are those of us that do practice "dead patterns".
Posted by: Chen Zen

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:10 PM

lol yes indeed.
Posted by: JKogas

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:20 PM

Experinced violence - Yes
What age - Teens, Young adult, adult
Where did it happen - Home, Parking lot(s)
Did you initiate it - No
Mulitple attackers - No

Different scenarios. Last one was a drunk guy messing around with the cars in the apartment complex where I used to live. That was about 10 years ago. Nothing since then.


-John
Posted by: Zombie Zero

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:25 PM

Quote:

Did you expect a response from a non survivor? Corpse? Zombie?




Buh-whaaat?
Posted by: Chen Zen

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:26 PM

In response to harlans last line.
Posted by: Dereck

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 03:32 PM

I enjoyed your post Mark. Trouble always seems to be out there and made me reflect on my own childhood even more. The person you were speaking to about going out and looking for trouble for a good time, he's obviously not the only one. I was one of those between 19-21 and even got pulled over by the police as we used to get drunk doing this. We used to carry aluminum bats and thankfully was able to hide this under my seat. I had to do a Breathalyzer then and should have been charged for drinking and driving but back in the 80's I got off with a warning. That was another stupid thing I did and from that day forward I never drove and drank. Thankfully I'm one of those people that can learn from mistakes.

Again, enjoyed the post and the poll was a good idea and look forward to reading and sharing more.
Posted by: Xibalba

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 04:04 PM

Mark,

Thank you so much for sharing your intimate and thought-provoking experiences.

Reading your post brought vivid flashbacks of my life growing up. I, too, experienced more than my fair share of violence as a youth/teen/young adult. In a conversation a couple of years ago with a lifelong friend with whom I went to high school and who also lived down the street from my family, the topic of neighborhood violence came up. She mentioned something like "We really grew up in a rough neighborhood - the level of violence really was not normal." This statement took me aback - until then, I never had really thought that the neighborhood violence young folks in our end of town experienced was any big deal. But it was. Compared to many other neighborhoods where I have lived, and the neighborhood we are raising our son in, the level of violence in my boyhood haunts was staggeringly high.

My experiences with violence are what prompted my study of the martial arts (as it is with many here, I am sure). I skipped a grade at a young age, and was probably considered "gifted" to some degree. This made me younger than my classmates (already a strike against me), and my lack of social skills as a kid didn't help either. To top it off (laugh if you must), I did dance. Tap to be precise. I liked dancing, and was good at it. This led to a pattern of violent bullying that would shape me - in many ways - into who I am today.

Too many incidents to count, but a few stick out in my mind:

- Fifth grade, being pummeled by a kid in my class during recess for god-knows-what social infraction. I went to a parochial school, and recess was done in the empty half of the parking lot. I ended up on the ground, my head and shoulders shoved under a parked car, being kicked in the ribs. I do not remember any adult intervening, unfortunately.

- High school locker room, just prior to 10th grade swim class. Some burnout named Don Decker (funny how names like that stick out after 21 yrs) had been my nemesis. Today he decided it would be fun to back me into a corner and punch the crap out of my ribs and midsection (the face would have left incriminating marks - or so he told me in not so many words). Again, no adults were involved, and I did not tell. I had quit dance the previous summer, however, and replaced it with TKD soon after this incident.

- Senior year, homeroom. Another loudmouth wanna-be bully started throwing verbal threats my way when Mr Jarvey stepped out of the room. I had been in TKD for over 2 yrs by now, and felt big enough to call him to the carpet. We stood up, he charged, I front-kicked him in the jimmy. Fight over, and we were both back in our seats (although he was sitting a little uncomfortably) before Jarvey ever came back into the room.

- Senior year. There were riots in our school between "jocks" and "burnouts". Not just scuffles - full fledged, furniture throwing, riots. We had a school of about 4,000 total, a huge district. Police in full riot gear came and locked us down for two days. Luckily, I was smart enough to avoid the mass melee.

- College - sophomore through senior year. I lived in the dorm, and was training 6-7 days a week at the MSUKC. I tried not to look for trouble, but my MA obsession was no secret. The same guy in my dorm picked a fight with me once a year for three years. I am sure, in hindsight, I could have talked my way out of it, but being the victim so many times in the past was still taking its toll on me, and I had stuff left to prove. None of these ended well for him, but thankfully no one was seriously hurt overall.

- After college. My first real job at community mental health, working overnights in a group home. A shooting happened in the driveway of the home, bullets flying past the open window 2 feet from my head. I dove behind the couch and called 911 while a shooter was banging on the door trying to get in. I hollered that the cops were on the way, and he insisted I let him in because "I have a gun". I ended up crawling up the stairs to the second floor bathroom, as there were no windows in that room for me to be seen through. Police arrived moments later, and I saw from the office window a body in a pool of blood being attended to by paramedics in the driveway. Our eight clients residing in the home never even woke up.

Thanks for letting me share.
Mike
Posted by: grumbleweed

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 06:03 PM

since i left school/village at 16 i have not experienced any violence against me, between 11-16 got a fair few beatings of the council estate thug who later was a local hero for thwarting a hold up at a shop taking on 3 pikies, did time for firearms offences and GBH, so no shame it this, if i was going to suffer violence better from someone worthy of the thug label
no violence at home and one glorious victory at the school bus stop
Posted by: grumbleweed

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 06:26 PM

<<ghetto/slums of Bangkok>>

Thai ghetto, Klong Toey, or farang Ghetto, Khao San Road? , if later, Tarquin and his chums with their dreadlocks and 'ethnic' shoulder bags do deserve a good beating!
Posted by: jamestkdkungfu

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/21/07 10:36 PM

it seriously disturbs me how much our world is becoming almost excatly how it was predicted to in fahernhiet 451, sure we dont have "firemen" burning our books but; youth looking for random violence, bigger and better t.v.'s, reading has become (at least in high school) social suicide, everyone must join a team, sport or something;its abnormal to just enjoy reading,walks nature and not be involved in any group activities i know Canada even has ads that say its sad that for some kids imagination is all they have; some kids don't wish to play sports or group things, i know i didn't until i found martial arts when i was 14.

anyways back to point violence is becoming the norm, in my province they wont invest in preventing violence by building new facilities and given kids other options then getting into mischief. I admit when i was a little kid i did not like doing group things but i would have loved to have gone see a movie somewhere even if it was an old flick if it meant i didn't have to ask my poor mother for money(literally we did not have money for much) instead if you want to have fun you must fork out insert large amount of cash here _____. they claim to have organizations for kids to be able to join hockey or other sports but there are only so many spots for that and you might be like me where you fit into a lovely bracket of income that doesn't get any of these benefits but cannot afford anything either. The reason so many of us are experiencing violence is because we don't invest in our youth so they find things to do, a lot of the time these things are not smartest things to do but they aren't bored.


we are in a world where progression is hindered by retiring society , the old outweigh the young so they are looked at first. If we see ways to make jobs and money thats good because we have a larger economy but we arent using that in a productive manner. all of our money is being invested in; Making more money!

I have experienced a lot of violence the past few years here in Halifax. i have had knives pulled on me, plenty of fights , fleeing from muggers, robbed at work, attacked at parties because i dress "emo". This is being caused by angry youth who have nothing to do, and that leads to criminals which leads to more money being diverted to law enforement which is being seen in my province.

i go out i try to have a good time avoid as much as I can, protect my family and friends when necessary and try to be a good person but this isn't good enough so now i am going to try my luck at becoming a police officer and volunteering whenever possible to ensure some of the very few non profit groups for kids and teens continue to function.I believe that Martial Arts has helped with this and I am proud to say the dojang, I am a part of offers free training for those who cannot afford the cost. We go with a pay as you can basis and there hasn't been a case of people taking advantage yet.

welcome to Nova Scotia the retirement province of Atlantic Canada!
Posted by: Dereck

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/22/07 03:19 PM

When I was a kid there was always violence in way of fighting but not to the degree now. The previous post touch a point that I want to expand on. When I was a kid in the 70's and 80's we did sports. We were always doing something whether I played soccer, football or baseball. I wished I had played hockey but my mother thought it too violent ... though football was alright. Through school we joined extracurricular sports such as soccer, wrestling, football, track, etc. We never had time to get into trouble, though we did but again not to the degree things are now.

Kids are not being challenged like we were. I have a good kid (14 year old daughter) and we've tried her in soccer, t-ball, dance, gymnastics, skating, TKD, etc. while she was growing up but never liked anything for too long. My wife and I were overly active in sport and even after high school I was still in an adult volleyball league and now weight lifting and TKD/BJJ. It was hard for us to understand the lack of wanting to be a part of sports for our daughter.

Now kids have i-pods, computers, big tv's and the such and sports seem to be on the decline for many. I had a great imagination as a child but it seems unless some stimuli is created by something electronic that many kids of today cannot even be moved to do anything. This leave kids hanging around outside and unfortunately I have seen packs of kids not only look for trouble but finding it with others or by creating it themselves. We were scared of the law or even being reprimanded by an adult figure but now a days they don't even care as they have no fear. They know the system and know that they can have even their parents arrested for assault or at least have them removed from their parent's care. God knows I hated getting beat by my parents, and it wasn't borderline child abuse, it was full on child abuse when it came to my mother, but fear, common sense and keeping active in a sport helped keep me on the straight and narrow ... and perhaps what many kids need today. Not the child abuse part but knowing that for every wrong action they do there is an equal and opposite reaction to it that could be a slap upside the head or to the ass, or being grounded and enforced to the removal and disposal of their belongs.

I don't blame tv shows. I don't blame music. I don't blame movies. I blame bleeding heart people over the years taking the control away from parents and the law to deal with many situations. I blame these people for softening us as a society to a bunch of lazy over-weight whiners. There are so many rights for the guilty that the rights for the innocent mean nothing and it is those people that suffer. Stricter laws that are enforced and significant penalties are long over due. Let the severity of the crime dictate the severity of punishment. Let people get scared because sometimes being scared is enough for people to make a better decision ... it worked for us when we were young. Or maybe this is nothing more then a rant and it is something in the water.
Posted by: wristtwister

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/25/07 01:34 AM

Experienced violence - yes
age- from childhood through young adult
Where - neighborhood, work, and as an LEO
Multiple attackers - most of the time as a child, usually single attackers as an adult, some with weapons

I grew up in a gang-heavy neighborhood, and since my father died when I was six months old, I never had anyone to teach me how to fight, so I was an easy victim for the neighborhood tough guys. When I went to college, I signed up for the karate class at the YMCA, and learned how to defend myself. At 18, I stopped being a victim after years of neighborhood beatings and abuse.

I worked undercover for a corruption strike force in New Orleans and chased fugitives, and as a LEO, had my share of confrontations, which usually were resolved by arresting somebody or diffusing the situation.

After leaving the department, I had some violent encounters while running a game room for my brother in law. I had a customer attack me with a claw hammer, and another one with a straight-razor. Both those guys took ambulance rides and ended up in jail.

As a brown belt in karate when I was 20, one of my college roommates and I were attacked in an all night diner by some drunk rednecks. One of them walked in and just punched my roommate off his stool, and I spun off my stool and hit him with a roundhouse kick that sent him through a plate glass window. I hit one of the other ones and he ended up totalling a jukebox, and my roommate jumped in on the other guy when he got his senses back.

All in all, my MA training came too late to keep me from taking beatings as a kid, but it's served me well since 1962.
Posted by: shorin-ji

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/27/07 03:13 AM

well ive been involved in and seen a lot of violence so far in my life (i'm only 18) it started with family violence as a kid with my drug addict dad who would be violent with my mom (luckily he left never to be seen again when i was about 7) I didnt get involved in or see many fights during middle school but in highschool all of that changed. i ended up in a couple scraps and i ended up getting gangbeat by numerous assailants at a party which resulted in me having to go the the hospital and the dentist. i have also had a drug addict pull a knife on me for no reason, just for walking by. and i have whitnessed too many acts of violence in the last few years but the ones that stand out are; trying to break up a fight where 2 guys were beating up one smaller guy at a party i was at for no good reason which just ended up getting me covered in this smaller kids blood. standing on the back field of my school when a guy slashed another guy with a samurai sword because the kid stole his stuff days earlier. i live in a place where violence is pretty prominant (almost everyday someone i know ends up in a violent incident) and i live in a neighbourhood where the most common role model is one of neighbourhood dealers with the nice car who gets all the girls.

I will also admit that at one point I got myself in to a lot of trouble by being with the wrong people and making the wrong choices. for example befriending drugdealers including a ex hockey couch who decided that it was better money to sell crack. i was dumb and would go along with him. I realized how stupid i had been after one night at about 2:00 am i was chased through ally ways by a group of meth addicts because my hockey couch had ripped them off for 30$. I knew that if they had cought us they would have most likely killed us.

i have no idea why i made such stupid choices in the past.
Posted by: globetrotter

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/27/07 03:55 PM

interesting posts.

when I was very young, before 3rd grade, I lived in a bad area. although I didn't expereince much, my older brother was beaten up on a regular basis, and my father used to be very worried that we would be attacked. I didn't remember any of this untill recently, when I went with my brother to visit where we had lived, and he told me that when we walked as a family, my father would brief my brother, then 13 about what to do if we were mugged, and my father would carry a knife.

I mention this because it may very well have had an impact on me, whether I remeber it or not.

when I was slightly older, I was a year younger than everyone in my class, and short, and, similar to an earlier poster, probrably with not such great social skills. so I got my ass kicked a few times, once pretty seriously - with both checkbones broken. I also got chased around more than once.

I got involved at about 11 in TKD, and at the same time thickened in the chest and shoulders, and really didn't have much problems for most of junior high and high school.

in high school I got into the normal fights, but also into one fight with an adult - walking with a female friend who had her chest gropped by a man, she slapped him and he swung at her with a full punch. I intervined.

from 18 till my late twenties, I was involved in violence as a vocation - I was first a combat soldier and then I worked in a few other positions where I put myself in harms way. I was involved in any number of violent incendents, most involving weapons, most involving multiple people. thinking about it, it may very well be related to the insecurity of my childhood that led me to pursue this type of lifestyle.

during this time, I might have been involved in one or two incodents of a personal nature, and a few muggings.

since then I haven't been involved in any violence.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 03/27/07 05:58 PM

Allow me to link the other poll to this one, as they are related:

http://www.fightingarts.com/ubbthreads/s...=0#Post15929602
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/18/07 12:04 PM

Bump for new folks.
Posted by: KJ63

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/18/07 01:04 PM

Thanks for the bump MattJ.

Quote:

Have you experienced violence?



Yes

Quote:

What age were you?



Well... if we include "The Bugsbunny Roadrunner Show" and "Tom and Jerry" probably very young. LOL. The first fight I was actually involved in I was 11. After winning that one I became the unofficial bully. Not that I picked on anyone just that no one messed with me after that until I was in high school. I was in a few fights in high school, then joined the Marine Corps, then worked in law enforcement, and also worked as a bouncer. Last fight was about 8 years ago if we are not talking sport fighting.

Quote:

Where did it happen?



Very long list including several other counties outside the U.S.

Quote:

Did you initiate it or was it unprovoked?



Only really ever started one fight and that was over a girl. uhg! I was young and dumb, although I did antagonize a few others that might not have escalated otherwise.

Quote:

Your gender?



Male

Quote:

Multiple attackers?



Sometimes.
Posted by: CatnPhx

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/19/07 01:35 AM

Other than the many fights as a younger person, I've been able to avoid violence for the most part. Older age continues to make me wiser and be able to stay out of trouble ... but I've come very close a few times.

The one that did change my life was in 1991. I was the bank manager and four very bad dudes robbed our branch. I ended up with 35 stitches in the head from seven hits with a gun. I'm very lucky because 2 of those hits could have been kill blows not to mention the torture of having the gun barrel put in my eyeball, ear and mouth with the threatening words that I was going to die.

Much in my life changed after that day.
Posted by: oldman

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/19/07 08:31 AM

C,
That has got to be a mindF*<k. Glad you made it through.

Posted by: CatnPhx

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/19/07 10:58 AM

Oldman - it definitely was. If you remember the Burt Reynolds movie called Sharky's Machine, there was a scene at the end where the bad guy puts several bullets into the black cop. The black cop says that he "checked out" and went to another place to try and avoid the mind f*<k ... I did that too.

It did mess with me for a while. I was out of commission for 2 months ... both physically and mentally.

On a positive note, it forced me to rethink my priorities and I started dating one of my Tellers and we've been married for 15 years now and we have two girls.

Game, set, match to CatnPhx.

P.S. These were some bad dudes. Two are on death row for murdering other robbery victims, one is in prison for 40 years for a botched pizza robbery where the owner was shot several times but lived, and one is dead. Funny thing is the one that was found dead (in an alley) is the only one that was convicted for our bank robbery crime.

P.S.S. The FBI told me that my robbery was the most violence they've had in a robbery in Tucson, AZ ever ... so I have that going for me.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/19/07 11:23 AM

Cat -

Kudos to you for being able to move forward in a positive manner. Assaults like that are very hard to deal with. Two members of my family have been shot, one fatally. It affected me greatly, and I wasn't the one shot in either case.
Posted by: kihap

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 07/24/07 11:31 PM

Quote:

Folks,
Many times as individuals we look at our experiences in life as normal or average. It was not until my mid thirties that events conspired to cause me to reflect back over events in my life. Again , up until that point I had never really considered the impact the events had on my perceptions of the world. One other perspective that matt's survey doesnt address (sorry Matt) is the concept of "Vicarious Abuse" or Vicarious Violence. That is violence that we witnesss or are aware of and can do nothing about. Though it technically does not happen to us it can be tramatic and have lasting repercussions.





I have experienced both first hand and witnessed violence. Due to the things that I witnessed and experienced very early in life, I now have issues with post-traumatic stress disorder. At this point, I am not sure if martial arts is helping in that area. So far, the PTSD seems to be affecting my study of martial arts in a negative way: memory loss, trust issues, etc. As I progress with MA I hope it will be less of an issue.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 08/25/07 12:10 PM

Bump for the new folks.
Posted by: CatnPhx

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 08/26/07 01:51 AM

Quote:

Cat -

Kudos to you for being able to move forward in a positive manner. Assaults like that are very hard to deal with. Two members of my family have been shot, one fatally. It affected me greatly, and I wasn't the one shot in either case.




Wow, Matt, sorry to hear about the loss. It does affect your life but you have to move on don't you or it will haunt you forever.

An example of that? Some of the people that were in the bank that crappy day in 1991 took years and a lot of therapy to get over the trauma. I don't see those people anymore (other than the one I sleep next too each night) but I'm sure a couple of them who really freaked out still have some issues.

You just gotta move one.
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 01/22/08 06:13 PM

Bump for the new folks.
Posted by: sunspots

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 01/23/08 04:03 PM

Have I experienced violence? Yep, I HAD a husband who liked to take out any frustration of his on me. He's the reason I started MA, so in a weird way, I guess I owe the #@%$& one. But I told my teacher once I'd like to see the guy try any of his crap on my now. My teacher said he'd like to see that too.
Posted by: Neko456

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 01/23/08 05:20 PM

Quote:

Have you experienced violence in your life? What age were you? Where did it happen? Did you start it? Please respond.




Yes I've personally experience violence, been violently battered and assaulted. For numerous different reasons, some because they were bigger, had numbers just were meaner.

Most of the aggressive actions happened to me personally between the age 7-35 years. As a kid and thru out my teens it was mostly a bully or bullies or older people acting out against what they thought were weaker people or a person they don't like. In my late 20s-35 It was drunks, adults bullies,gangs,thugs,gambler, drug addicts and pimps/hustlers, domestic disputes and violent criminals that either had a problem with me or the job I was hired to do.

As a kid it happen in the neighborhood, just because. As a teen it happen because I was out of the neighborhood, maybe because of a friendly wager, or I was different or just because. This occured in schools, bars/clubs, back yards or walking down the street.

I hardly ever started any of the fights, can't remember many if any that I started. I probably started 1 or 2 because I wasn't a saint by along shot as a kid or teen. If battered as a child you will batter as you grow older until you learn better.

I am a male born in the USA.


Multiple attacks from about 9 until adulthood, or until I stop hanging out at the wrong place with wrong people at the wrong time. Some people just say they are your friend.
Kinda like the Die Hard movie, come on down, we can relax, have a couple drink, laugh cry and BS, then all hell breaks out and you're all alone neck deep in sh%^ !!
Posted by: Vennificus

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 01/23/08 06:10 PM

I used to be a weak nerd with anger issues. I was a bully MAGNET.

now I'm just a weak nerd, I've resolved my anger.
Posted by: JMWcorwin

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 01/23/08 06:16 PM

Quote:

Multiple attacks from about 9 until adulthood, or until I stop hanging out at the wrong place with wrong people at the wrong time.




That's almost always the main factor in the difference between those that get in fights and those that don't. No fight to be had if you're not there to participate. Leave your ego at home and don't go to those places where everyone knows some one or many people will be looking to flex theirs.
Posted by: TKD_X

Re: Have you experienced violence? - 01/26/08 04:19 PM

wow i saw like 3 people that answered no. i've never been in a fight. there are only 2 situations where i could even begin to imagine myself in a fight. 1. someone attacks me 2. someone attacks family, friends, or someone who just does not deserve it. Completely passive until one of those two happen.