Sharing a passion.

Posted by: MikeChaff

Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 05:47 PM

I haven't been very happy recently. It seems that everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by people who have no interest in the martial arts. My family? They like to watch Jackie Chan movies, that's about it. My girlfriend? She thinks some of the kicks look cool - beyond that she doesn't really have much clue what goes on at the TKD club. My friends? Haha, no - most of them make fun of me or think I'm sad in some way, like I'm some sort of geek who watches Bruce Lee movies all day and then stands in front of a mirror going "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Even at my Taekwon-do class it's hard to tell who's got any real passion for what they're doing, especially since many of the members are quite young, and are therefore possibly there because of their parents or what-have-you.

In short, I feel like I don't have one single person in my life who I can talk to about my MA. I sometimes feel a bit like a rogue nutter, for having so much insatiable passion for the martial arts (I think about martial arts ALL day, every day, I am utterly obsessed) when nobody around me seems to know where I'm coming from. Today, a friend of mine who also did TKD (at another school) told me that he quit a while ago. It kinda gets me down that I seem to be the only person who really, really cares about this stuff. This is why I hang out here so much - this is the only way I can think to communicate with like-minded people, but even this is no substitute for RL friendships.
Has anyone else ever been in this position? Am I being a drip?
Posted by: JKogas

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 06:09 PM

Mike Chaff wrote:
Quote:

I haven't been very happy recently. It seems that everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by people who have no interest in the martial arts. My family? They like to watch Jackie Chan movies, that's about it. My girlfriend? She thinks some of the kicks look cool - beyond that she doesn't really have much clue what goes on at the TKD club. My friends? Haha, no - most of them make fun of me or think I'm sad in some way, like I'm some sort of geek who watches Bruce Lee movies all day and then stands in front of a mirror going "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Even at my Taekwon-do class it's hard to tell who's got any real passion for what they're doing, especially since many of the members are quite young, and are therefore possibly there because of their parents or what-have-you.




People who do ANYTHING at a high level seem to be few and far between. The dedication and passion that some have and feel for their endeavors is often unmatched and misunderstood by many. To be “great” at almost anything practically requires an almost pathological obsession that most simply cannot relate to. Be proud of that however. Be proud that you’re a little different and aren’t a part of the masses. That’s a GOOD thing.


Quote:


In short, I feel like I don't have one single person in my life who I can talk to about my MA. I sometimes feel a bit like a rogue nutter, for having so much insatiable passion for the martial arts (I think about martial arts ALL day, every day, I am utterly obsessed) when nobody around me seems to know where I'm coming from. Today, a friend of mine who also did TKD (at another school) told me that he quit a while ago. It kinda gets me down that I seem to be the only person who really, really cares about this stuff. This is why I hang out here so much - this is the only way I can think to communicate with like-minded people, but even this is no substitute for RL friendships.
Has anyone else ever been in this position? Am I being a drip?




I can totally relate. Fortunately I’ve been able to meet others with the same passions about martial arts. You may have better luck at other schools. Some McDojos (not saying your’s is) aren't populated by the most hardcore of martial artists. Its often better to find the less “commercialized” schools in little, out of the way places. Look around. I’m sure you’ll find other kindred spirits.

The path of the dedicated is often a lonely place. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you’re doing and achieving more than many who surround you. Keep the faith, work hard, and give BACK. It’s through giving that you’ll discover your contentment and like-minded souls.


-John
Posted by: Dauragon c mikado

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 06:10 PM

I have this situation every single day, except when I'm around the people I train with, it is strange, a very strange emotion indeed when you sit down and think about it.
But I don't really mind, I just think of it like I'm in on a joke that they totally fail to understand, that type of thing.

What you have to realise is that, ULTIMATLY martial arts is a lonely pursuit, if you do it so you can show off to people, eventually you'll become old news and you will get bored anyway.
Martial arts is indeed all about YOU, depending on what you learn through it, it can change your outlook entirely.

A lonely pursuit...
Posted by: MattJ

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 07:12 PM

Good posts by JKogas and DCM. They both summed it up very well. Is lack of social support something that would have an effect on your continued training, Mike?
Posted by: MikeChaff

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 07:38 PM

Not really. I would probably continue to practice Taekwondo even if it became a crime.
Every day I wish someone could see things my way. Then I go home and I practise my kicks anyway.
So, no, I'm not in danger of quitting over it. At all. The only negative impact it has on my training is, I can never practise sparring or doing any partner exercises outside class, because nobody I know wants to help.
My girlfriend does try to help, it's very sweet, but these attempts usually end badly, and there's not much she can safely do with me, and it's generally better all around if we just don't go there.
So, sometimes I get frustrated especially at the fact that I really need a MA training buddy. But will it stop me? No.

I was just wondering if it was just me who felt like this, and if not, if anyone could help me deal with this negative emotion and turn it into something productive. The posts so far have been very helpful, and I'm grateful
Posted by: JKogas

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 07:51 PM

Quote:


I was just wondering if it was just me who felt like this, and if not, if anyone could help me deal with this negative emotion and turn it into something productive. The posts so far have been very helpful, and I'm grateful




How old are you pal? I'm guessing you're younger than some of us here.

Man, keep on keeping on. Pay attention to your 'self talk' and ALWAYS spin things toward a positive light. Look at it like you are simply ahead of the pack. Be proud of who you are and what you're doing. Make it a cause and work ever harder to fully separate yourself from the pack even more. Then when you encounter others who have done the same thing, you'll be in some incredibly select company!




Take care and work hard(er)


-John
Posted by: MikeChaff

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 08:56 PM

Yeah, I'm quite young, I'm 20 now, turning 21 just after Christmas. I'm not surprised that you picked up on my n00bishness... I figure I have a lot to learn

Anyhow, that's a pretty cool spin you have there on the situation. I like that I know you have to be right, anyway. Those who don't dedicate themselves as much as me will never reach the level I will eventually reach with my training... right? They don't 'have what it takes'.
Posted by: Dauragon c mikado

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 09:17 PM

Dont have what it takes huh?

Where abouts in England are you?
Posted by: JKogas

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 09:35 PM

MikeChaff wrote:
Quote:

Yeah, I'm quite young, I'm 20 now, turning 21 just after Christmas. I'm not surprised that you picked up on my n00bishness... I figure I have a lot to learn.




That’s not a bad thing though little bro. The most important thing is to keep the right attitude and associate only with quality people – people who will support and believe in you. Regardless of that, you have to believe in yourself even when it appears that no one else does.

Maintain the right attitude and learn everything you can. Develop a superior work ethic and place character above personality. So few do these days. You can go as far as you want as you’re still so young. Find a good mentor if possible.


Quote:


Anyhow, that's a pretty cool spin you have there on the situation. I like that I know you have to be right, anyway. Those who don't dedicate themselves as much as me will never reach the level I will eventually reach with my training... right? They don't 'have what it takes'.




Well, you get out of anything what you put into it so, those with the dedication and desire to be their best no matter what will often succeed. Like I said, the “best” have an almost “psycho” level of determination and perseverance. Its all in how strong the will is. Master yours.

Stay in touch and let me know I can help. At MY age (41, but don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m “old”), I want to help the younger folks as much as possible. Email me sometime so I’ll have your address. You can find mine on my profile page (clicking my user name).

Take care!



-John
Posted by: MikeChaff

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 09:44 PM

John:
Thanks for the offer of email support, I may well take you up on that sometime. You're an inspiration to me already You mentioned to try to 'associate only with quality people'... should I try to put a bit of distance between me and these 'friends' who always laugh at me?

Dauragon:
I'm in Kent, old bean Maidstone to be precise... most of the time anyway. I actually train in Canterbury, though. So... yeah. The south-east. *grabs a jousting lance*
Posted by: JKogas

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 09:52 PM

Quote:

...You mentioned to try to 'associate only with quality people'... should I try to put a bit of distance between me and these 'friends' who always laugh at me?




You have to do what YOU think it right man. I'm not going to tell you what to do here. Let your heart and conscience be your guide.

Make some better friends and watch with whom you associate. You become LIKE those you hang out with. Don't waste your time even though you have a lot of it. Make USE of it bro.


-John
Posted by: MikeChaff

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/12/06 10:06 PM

Your advice == sensible.

I'll go away and stop bothering everyone with my stupid questions, I think...
Posted by: Jeff_G

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 04:08 AM


Understand that you have embarked upon a solo journey. Other people may, or may not, share your interests. It is up to you to figure out what motivates you to continue and go with that. Till you figure that out, just go anyway.

You may also find it useful to keep up with this online community.

Good luck,
Jeff G.
Posted by: MikeChaff

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 07:11 AM

Quote:


You may also find it useful to keep up with this online community.



Absolutely! Trust me - I'm not leaving my only MA friends any time soon.
Posted by: rageace

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 09:36 AM

I feel the same way. I have a few friends who do MA but they don't seem as into it as me. My friends who i used to train with have quit. I'm a very unsociable person, I don't go out to the cinema or stuff but I do train alot, and sometimes I'd really like a friend to practice with.

Us dedicated are a rare breed lol.
I'm in the south east also but a LONG way from kent lol.
Maybe for your GF birthday or christmas you could take her to an introductory lesson and buy her membership if she likes it. Then when she gets abit more advanced you can train with her?

Understanding

rageace
Posted by: ThomsonsPier

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 10:34 AM

Hello from me, and welcome.

There's nothing stupid about your questions. How long have you been doing MA (sorry if you've already said and I missed it)? I've found that people are less dismissive of it after you've demonstrated through 'time served' that you're serious about it, not that you should worry about justifying yourself.

I've only been in MA a couple of years, and only just over one in my current style, but my friends all seem to accept it and some have even started coming to classes. Having said that, a lot of my friends are theatre folk (my other hobby) and they're probably more obsessed with that than I am with MA. My girlfriend is getting into qi gong through my kung fu instructor, and she's usually a dancer. I don't share her passion for ancient Latin literature and know nothing about it, but I respect that it's there. Your friends may understand more than you think.

I'm not sure what point I was trying to make there, but continue to enjoy yourself, anyway.
Posted by: MikeChaff

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 11:32 AM

rageace:
I really don't think that MA is her cup of tea, believe me I've tried She has a vague interest in swordplay and did once briefly take up fencing, but my suggestions that she have a go at Kendo or similar have not hitherto inspired her... oh well!
As ThomsonsPier points out, it's not like I have a burning passionate interest in her hobbies anyway. She's really into Egyptology and reptile keeping, and while I have no interest in these things myself, I offer to help where I can, even though, left to my own devices, I wouldn't surround myself with pyramids and chameleons, if you know what I mean. So I guess it's fair enough. Mostly, it's out of respect for our differences that I don't like to ask her to help me with my martial arts - it's not her thing, and that's all there is to it.

ThomsonsPier:
I have been training martial arts for a short time, I am only in my 3rd year of training. I have barely travelled half a mile on my 'journey' You're probably right, maybe I will acquire friends and support as I acquire experience.
Posted by: hedkikr

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 11:39 AM

Welcome, you'll find plenty of internet friends here. Most are dedicated, informed & willing to share their good opinions.

I'd like to counter a previous opinion by stating the MAis NOT a solo endeavor. If you think that the solitary training of Musashi, Ueshiba & Oyama are somehow ideals to copy, I'd say these masters were exceptions to the rule. MA is NOT just about yourself.

Kimura sensei said "First, your family; next your work; then karate (MA)". As JKogas said, MA is all about "giving back". That isn't limited to teaching others what you've learned, it's about becoming a whole person & using your skills (mental, emotional & physical) for positive.

If it's all about YOU & a solitary pursuit, this will never happen. Remember, Musashi, Ueshiba & Oyama eventually shared their hard-earned solitary training w/ the world.

You didn't indicate how long you've been training but keep in mind that passion will not carry you through the years. There have been times I've felt burned-out but my dedication to do "that which must be done" carried me through those down times. If your instructor sees this in you, you'll become closer to him & his associates as you grow. Not a bad group of folks to hang-out w/.

owari
Posted by: rageace

Re: Sharing a passion. - 11/13/06 12:37 PM

lol, well you could give it ago, buy her a gi that will fit you lol and if she doesn't like it you can use it lol Much like the simpsons with the bowling ball... if any of you have seen it...
I'm sure you'll find lots of dedicated people on here to share an interest with, I wish we could set up seminars/conventions and all meet up, it would be great fun.
Rageace