You know you're obsessed with martial arts when..

when you are conscience of body mechanics when preparing dinner.

You test your reflexes by teasing the cat.

More than 50% of your dvd library has subtitles.

People at work ask you about the bruises on your forearms.

Walking down the street, you imagine an assailant and 'shadowbox' a technique around every corner.

You blow out candles with the compressed air of a punch.

When you practice chokes on your pets.
When you wear your gi in Wal-Mart!
When you have more than three shirts with your school's name on them.
When someone is talking to you and you block them out looking for "targets" !

You are chosen to go on the television show Extreme Makeover and you ask the plastic surgeon to make you look like Choki Motobu.

From http://users.binary.net/thomcat/Stupidma.html

* you say to the salesman in the men's store, "Nice pants, but I don't think I can kick in them."
* when you want to say "I'm sorry" and involuntarily bow.
* you go to the shoe store to try on shoes.
* Instead of walking or jogging around the store, you practice pivoting, sweeps, stances and kicks.
* You check to see if the shoe has a sufficiently hard striking surface and whether it protects the toes well
* and lastly, you don't even care if (and they probably are) the other patrons are looking at you funny. (That's the big clue)
* Now when every time you pass a wall you start to wonder:'Is that structural or drywall?' THEN you know you've gone overboard.
* When you hit your head on a low doorway or ceiling and kick it in anger and damage it.
* "GAK! NO! The *left* side of the bathrobe goes on top...."
* "What was I doing in my office when I was spinning around and flailing my arms and legs? Ahhhhhmmmmmmm....."
* when you're practicing your arm blocks while driving down the highway, notice someone in another car staring at you, and suddenly turn your block into vigorously fanning away an imaginary fly
* when you use various strikes to turn lights off and on;
* don your clothing with kicks, thrusts, and punches
* open and close doors with spinning kicks
* find yourself idly doing iaido and kenjitsu moves with the plastic knives at the fast food place
* can't walk by anybody else from your school without casually exchanging a flurry of mock strikes and kicks
* haven't gotten over the phase of seeing everybody walking around with a blanket of little red cross-hairs on all their vital spots
* leap to your feet and shriek with indignation while watching "Kung Fu", "Walker, Texas Ranger", and "Highlander" at home
* deliberately go to see martial arts movies in the theater so you can leap to your feet and shriek with indignation during the movie, out in the parking lot, and with all your friends the next time you're at class
* find yourself practicing bo staff techniques in miniature with your pencil during dull meetings
* try to backfist the correct floor button on the inside of the elevator, based on your memory of the button's location, before you get in far enough to see it
* notice you never stand with your arms crossed or your hands in your pockets
* tend to keep at least one flavour of martial arts weapon close at hand by your bed when you sleep
* buy shoes either because they're particularly flexible or have steel toes
* have at least one fantasy where you are a martial arts hero and end the fight by saying something *so* cool that you make Arnold Shwarzenegger and Clint Eastwood look like nervous chatterboxes
* have begun to master the reflex to commit a very messy homicide when, directly after someone finds out you practice martial arts, they immediately ask "Are you a Black Belt ???"
* Urge to bow every time I enter or leave a room? Uh, not anymore, thankfully.
* I used to accidentally call one of my favorite professors 'sensei' with fair regularity, and I don't think I'll ever stop saying 'hai!' instead of 'yes!'.
* When standing in line you find yourself practicing some stance from your art
* When you bow going into and out of the bathroom
* When you don't use any tools while splitting firewood.
* When you are introduced to someone and you bow to greet them.
* Whenever you see some wood or concrete, even things like stools or tables, and get excited while you picture just how you would go about breaking it. Then you get funny looks as you feel it and give it a look of hard concentration, then maybe measure off a few times.

heh...some of those I'll never admit.

There is one that I will admit, that I think is becoming more popular in US homes...we take shoes off at the door and line them up. The reasons are as much culture influence as it is not having to vacuum every other day.

Your friends run away whenever you say "Let me try something I learned..."

When someone mentions to you that they study MA, the first thing you ask is to see thier lineage chart.

You concentrate on your breathing whenever you are forced into a 'moment of silence'.

When camping, you are always the first one to volunteer to break up the firewood.

You wear any one of these t-shirts wherever you go:
http://www.superaction.com/108/classic/
When you trip up you do a breakfall and kip-up from the ground into fighting stance.
Your friends wonder why flies keep dying in your chopsticks.
Whenever you're stuck for something to talk about, you always turn the conversation to what happened the last time you were sparring.
You have hand-made your own Gi.
You have hand-made any weapons you are training with.
Anyone has ever told someone else "oh my god, he/she can fly!" (Has happened to me )
If anyone has told you that you look better than most Kung Fu movie stars. (I know I do )
If you critique movies based on their MA performances, rather than stunt work or acting talent.

Ohhh crap....I`ve got a new addiction...8). This one is something I`ve done all my life. You test your reflexes by teasing the cat. I always have scratches and bite marks on my hands from the cat, the cat enjoys it as much as I do.

"You test your reflexes by teasing the cat. I always have scratches and bite marks on my hands from the cat, the cat enjoys it as much as I do."

LoL same here Bill :-)

when you carry your boken around the house with you all day just hoping someone wil break in(without a gun)

Hehe, I tease my cat a lot too, only I don't get as many wounds 'cause he's declawed.

One of my MA habits is bowing, too. I don't do it all the way but my head almost always goes down in a kind of half-bow when I'm thanking someone (outside my family and friends) for something or if I want to ask a question. I also have a habit of accepting things someone gives me with both hands--like if my teacher is handing out papers and I'm not paying full attention, I sometimes end up putting out both hands, acccepting it and bowing my head.

Each one of these needs to be followed by a drum-riff (Ba-doom Bom...tiisshhh)

* I saw a Japanese and American businessman meet one time: The American bowed and the Japanese guy shook his head.


* You know you are obsessed when you are diagnosed with
"Nincribophobia"
(The irrational fear of being surprize attacked by Ninjas hiding in your house)

* You use the words "One does..." instead of using the words "I do..." like a cheap MA flick:
- "One does not know the answer to such things."
- "Do as one says, not as one does."
- "One does love you."

* You're obsessed if work interferes with your class and forum time.

* (drawing on oldman's earlier funny) You get cologin implants in your first two knuckles.

* How you can tell if you are McObsessed: You bow in seiza at Elvis' grave.

I'm 4 for 5!

*You know you're obsessed with Martial Arts when you get too involved with pillow fights.

*You have Bruce Lee underpants. (Don't lie, I know some of you have them )

*You constantly look for things to jump/roll off of at inappropriate places (Like your sister's wedding)

*You find a forum online about MA and you constantly visit it and everyone knows your life story and - hold on...






Good topic, SANCHIN!